LIGHT
SANCTUM
BEFORE THE ALTAR
Meeting notes with Yahweh before the wilderness
There was a time before the servant went into the spiritual wilderness with Yahweh, and during this time of training and learning, the servant acquired certain traits that enabled her to hear Yahweh. The spiritual filters were slowly removed so she would be enabled to carry out Yahweh's will as He enabled.
THE ALTAR....coming soon. In the meantime, here are journal entries leading into that phase.
Years 2004-2005
May 17, 2004
⁘⁘ Yahweh says it: Many will not accept the move of God and say that it is a move of Satan. This is blasphemy. Some will fall away and give heed to seducing spirits. Many will embrace the revival, the mighty move of God. We need to keep our spiritual armor on. We need to pray for the people to grab hold of the vision of God. Are you ready?
May 22, 2004
⁘⁘ Yahweh is leading: I am looking for a Bride, for a people who will worship Me in spirit and in truth, those who will not have other idols before Me. There will be a great outpouring of the Spirit of God. In the last days, I will pour out My Spirit upon all flesh. Do not look at how others worship. Keep your focus on Me. Know that your help comes from the Lord. Do not watch others. Watch God. God is your help. Do not desire the things of this world. Remember, God looks at the heart. People look at the outside appearance. God is not limited by man. Desire to be like and walk like Jesus. Jesus is looking for people who will seek after Him with their whole heart.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, please don’t let us seek after the gifts and not the Giver of the gifts. Please forgive us for seeking You halfway. Please forgive us for loving the things of this world and being separated from You. Forgive us for not having You in our lives and being people pleasers. Please forgive us, Father, for thinking that we know everything and taking the time we spend with You lightly. Please give us that hunger and desire to know You more, to be intimate with You. Burn me up, Lord, in your fire. Purify me, Lord. I want You to see Your reflection in me. I need You, and I love You.
May 23, 2004
Prayer Meeting
⁘⁘ Yahweh says it: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. The Word says to seek My face, but it also says to turn from their wicked ways. If people will seek Me with their whole heart. I am looking for true worshippers. Those who will worship Me in spirit and in truth. I want to draw near to My people, but sin keeps Me away. They are worshipping with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.
I am raising up My army who will worship Me in spirit and in truth, who will speak with boldness and authority, an army who will not veer off of the Word but will preach the Word with boldness and authority. Stay connected to the Vine. When you are connected, you will bear fruit. This is how you know who My disciples are, only by their fruit. Stay connected to the Vine. Remember that My Father does the pruning, not man. Seek My face and turn from your wicked ways, and I will hear from Heaven, forgive your sins, and will heal your land.
I am doing a new thing, such as you have never seen before. There will be many great miracles, many great signs, and wonders. But remember that everyone who does miracles and signs is not My disciple. Remember that before the Throne, many will say, “Lord, Lord, did we not cast out demons in Your name? Did we not prophesy in Your name? Did we not heal the sick in Your name?” And I will say, “Depart from Me. I never knew you. Your work is the work of iniquity.”
When the power of God falls in the last days, many things will be going on. Unless you have a true relationship with Me, you will not see the Kingdom of God. No sin can enter into the gates of Heaven. No sin can enter in. No one who practices sin will be allowed to enter in. There must be true repentance. True turning away from sin. There must be godly sorrow.
Susanna, I am a just God, a righteous God. It is against My nature to allow sin into My glory. To allow sin, I cannot. The road is straight. The road is narrow. There will be few who will be able to find it. Relationship is the key. Who do you know? Friend to the world is an enemy to God. You cannot serve two masters. You must hate the one and love the other. You must take up your cross and follow Me. You cannot love your life. You must be willing to lose your life for Me.
May 24, 2004
Monday Night Prayer
⁘⁘ Yahweh is leading: Many will miss it. Many are too busy being concerned with religion and tradition. They are fearful of the unknown and therefore are unable to trust Me. They are satisfied staying in the old and will not allow My Holy Spirit to cleanse them, to purify them. It hurts being cleansed and changed. But this work is required. The Holy Spirit must be in charge. The Holy Spirit must be given the freedom to do His cleansing, renewing, changing work. This move is of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is looking for available vessels. He will do the housecleaning. The Holy Spirit will do the work. He doesn’t need the help of man. Man needs to stay out of the way.
May 27, 2004
Thursday Night Prayer
⁘⁘ Yahweh speaks a great will: Many will not be able to handle being in the glory of God. They think that it is some “thing,” some feeling that will come and go. They do not fully understand the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Many will run to and fro, putting their priorities before Me. Many will keep their idols while attempting to offer praises to Me. With dirty hands, they offer up sacrifices to Me.
Many people look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart. I weigh the matters of the heart, not how often someone brings Me a sacrifice out of the wrong motive. Look to Me, the Author and Finisher of your faith. Look to Me as your source that never runs dry.
I am the Living Water. My water will never run dry. Drink of this living water and never thirst again. I am the Bread of Life. Eat of Me and never die. I rain on the just as well as the unjust. Don’t you realize that I cannot lie and that I will pour out My Spirit upon all flesh? I do not lie. My Word will never return to Me void. Do you believe that I can do as I have said? Do you believe that with God, nothing is impossible? Where does your faith lie? Is it in houses, in land? Is it in your finances?
Don’t you realize that I am looking for those who are faithful? Don’t you know that I look at and examine the heart? If you do not bear fruit, you will be separated from Me. My sheep will bear fruit, not signs and wonders. Remember, the gifts and the calling are irrevocable. If My people will just seek after Me and not gifts. If they would see that the servant is not greater than His master.
Listen for My voice. There will be many voices crying out in these last days. Do not falter. Do not grow weary in your well-doing. Call unto Me, and I will answer. I will answer you. I will hear you. The time is short. Judgment will come upon the earth. The army in Heaven is getting ready. Jesus is coming back soon for His Bride, His Church. Do not walk in the counsel of the ungodly nor sit in the seat of the scornful. Stay separated for duty to meet the high calling. Be ready to meet the King of Kings.
Greater works shall you do than were done in the Book of Acts. Walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. Do not fulfill the desires of the flesh. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus.
May 28, 2004
⁘⁘ Yahweh: God is looking for people who will be obedient to His Word. Obedience is better than sacrifice. He is looking for a pure heart. He is looking for vessels that are not tainted with the cares and things of this world. He is looking for a faithful Bride who is always set apart for Him. A Bride who is not committing spiritual adultery as she waits for the Bridegroom. Don’t give up. The time is short. Be set apart for the Master. There are idols that people have in their lives that are taking My place. I am a jealous God. You cannot have other Gods before Me. People are putting many things ahead of Me. I have to be first. I have to come first. I am God. I am the Great I AM. The idols have to go.
May 29, 2004
Prayer Night
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: I pray that we will have a deeper revelation of who King Jesus is. I pray that we will not be the same ever again. I pray that we will die to our flesh daily. I pray that our relationship is changed. Lord, there is nothing impossible for the Great I AM. Lord, teach us how to be like You. Please show us how to walk in the Spirit and not in this prison of flesh. Please separate the flesh veil that is over our eyes that brings a hindrance to walking in our calling. Please, Great Holy Spirit, have Your way in my heart and life. Great Holy Spirit, please change me. Please open my eyes to the truth. Please allow me to see with my spiritual eyes. Please give me Your wisdom and understanding. Please rule and reign in my life. Please, Lord. I am Your servant. I want to do Your will. I want to be like You, King Jesus. I want to see You, King Jesus. I want to know You, King Jesus. I need You. I need a revelation of You. I need to know You deeper. Take me higher and further in You. Father God, Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. I love You, Lord. I adore You, Lord. I honor You, Lord. —Your Daughter
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Do not be burdened or heavy laden. Do not worry about the future, for I am in control. Be steadfast, unmovable. Do not look with your natural eyes. Do not set your eyes on things that are temporal. Set your eyes on things that are eternal. Watch for Me in the clouds. Do not be weary. Do not lose hope. I am with you.
September 14, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, what is the purpose of this website?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: This is a good way to tell people about the Good News. I am coming back soon. This is a good way to reach many at one time. Susanna, don’t give up. I love you. You think you are all alone, but you are not. I am with you. When you don’t see Me, when you don’t feel Me, I am still there with you. Susanna, you have a work to do for the Kingdom. Don’t get tired. Time is short, and I am coming back soon. Susanna, where you are weak, I am strong. Stay away from those things you shouldn’t watch. Focus on the work you have to do.
Everything is in My timing. Don’t go ahead of Me. You do this when you try to make things happen instead of waiting on Me. When the time is right, everyone will know that I have called you to be My mouthpiece. Don’t force it. Wait on Me. Prepare. Don’t waste time. Susanna, the things that you worry about are temporal; they will pass away. Focus on heavenly things, the Kingdom of God. Don’t waver in your faith. Trust Me completely. No, I do not have any respect of persons. I choose whom I will. Man looks at the outside. I look at the heart. The time is coming when things will change drastically.
There are so many out there who are lost. You know about Me, yet you will not tell others about Me? Susanna, shouldn’t you be more concerned about what I think of you and not others? You are more afraid of hurting someone’s feelings instead of doing My will. Oh, Susanna, they hated Me way before they hated you. Do not try to be friends with the world; you can’t do it if you are going to be close to Me.
You give up way too easily. There are things going on in the heavenlies that you cannot see. Things are working out for your benefit, for your good. I am the Lord God who heals you. I meant what I said, every Word that I have given you. I love you, Susanna. If you only knew. If you could understand My love, it is so pure. You don’t have to earn it, Susanna. You don’t have to work for it. No matter what you do wrong, no matter what you do, I will always love you.
Susanna, don’t give up so easily. You are doing things to be obedient, but you are not willing. Your heart must be there, Susanna. You must want to do these things. Seek the Kingdom of God first, then everything else that you want will be added unto you. Seek God. You will learn His will, and His will, will become your will. If you only knew the plans that I have for you. I am glad that you are My daughter. Find your rest in Me, Susanna. I talk to you all the time, but do you want to listen? Susanna, you must listen to My voice. When I say you are ready, you are ready. You will know. You will have My peace about it. Go to sleep. Rest in Me. Obey My voice.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Goodnight, Father God.
September 15, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I want to hear from You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, when will you learn to trust My ways? Do you have to see things to believe it?
September 16, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I feel that I am being stupid about this job. I think that Mike is going to “kill” me. What should I do, Father God? Is this the job for me?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Prepare for the job. Don’t worry about what tomorrow may bring, for I am in charge of tomorrow. I know all of your needs, Susanna. I have you in the palm of My hand. Things look so differently through your eyes than they do Mine. I have wonderful plans for you. Do you doubt My Word, Susanna? Do not doubt nor fear, for it will all come to pass. I’ve told you before—My love for you is so pure, Susanna. Rest in Me. Abide in Me. Take this as a second chance. Prepare for this job. It is the job for you.
I will give Mike the right words, the right thoughts. Have faith in Me. Do you believe that I own everything? Do you really believe that? If I own so much, why can’t you believe Me to take care of you in this? Believe Me. Stand on My Word. Proclaim it! I am your Provider. There is nothing too hard for Me. I look over My Word to perform it. I will never leave you, Susanna. I will never forsake you. I am not a man. Put Me first, Susanna. Put Me first. All of these things shall be added unto you. Taste and see that the Lord is good. There is no want for those who fear Him. I am your God. I am your Deliverer. Spend time with your brother. Let him see you stand in your faith in the midst of all of this.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, it’s all my fault about the car. I shouldn’t have pushed Mike into buying it. Please forgive me.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Never just assume. You could be out of God’s will. You must just know. Do as your new boss said: Get some rest. Prepare for this job, Susanna. Everything will work out fine. Everything is in My timing. Do not wait to see an angel come before you. Just listen to My voice. Don’t worry about the car: I know you like it. Let Me handle your husband. Wait for this job, Susanna. This is a lesson. You are learning to trust in Me and not in your abilities. I can do more. I can take you further with My favor. Be obedient to My voice. Trust in Me. You will eat the good of the land.
I am always looking out for you, always watching over you. Will you be obedient? Listen to My voice. Heed My words. Do not worry about what tomorrow will bring. I am in charge of tomorrow. Everything will be fine. You know how your children worry about little things, and you tell them that it will be fine? That is the same thing that I am doing with you. Everything will be fine. Do not look to people. Look to God, the Author and Finisher of your faith. Do you believe Me, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I believe Your Word. You shall supply all of my needs according to Your riches in glory through Christ Jesus.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: And don’t I own a lot?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, You do.
September 18, 2005
“In the Last Days”
⁘⁘ Yahweh: In these last days, I am pouring out My Spirit. Susanna, there is going to be a great outpouring. It is going to cover the earth. Susanna, My presence will be concentrated. It will saturate the very being of My people. Susanna, people will start to take sides. Many will continue to fall away. Many will choose death instead of life. Soon, everyone will have to make a choice. Who will you serve? Time is short, Susanna. Many would rather seek after the pleasures of this earth than after Me. I know the hearts of men, Susanna; it is wicked. No one fears Me. No one reverences Me. They would rather love darkness rather than light. Who will you serve, Susanna? Seek Me first, and I will open up the windows of Heaven. I will heal your land.
Susanna, you are living in the last days. Do not trust someone’s words when it doesn’t line up with Scripture. Read the Word. Know My voice. Susanna, continue to grow in the grace of the Lord. Continue to hunger after Me. I am looking for vessels that I can pour My Spirit through. I am looking for pure vessels, vessels that have gone through the fire. Watch and wait for Me; in the hour that you think not.
Susanna, I am faithful, and My Word is true. Do not doubt any of My words. Pray My Word. Speak My Word. Proclaim My Word. Things are not what they seem. Do not look to the natural but to the spiritual things. Do not look with your natural eyes but with your spiritual eyes. Even though there is a great falling away, there will still be a mighty move of God. I am still God. Is there any like Me? I am still God. Is there any like Me? I am faithful to do what I said I will do. I am looking for vessels that I can use and flow through.
September 28, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, what is hindering me from doing Your work?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You think that this is all a figment of your imagination—that I am real, and what I am telling you is real. Why do you want to be like everyone else, Susanna? You are so focused on pleasing others and not Me. The past week, you have been putting everyone else before Me. You would trust and listen to their voice before listening to Mine. Don’t you even realize that I am controlling this job and the outcome of it? Why are you so slow to do what I asked you to do? Am I not important to you? Idols can also be people, you know. Susanna, I have to come first, no matter what. You have more fear of man than a fear of God. What are your priorities, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Finish the website, prepare for the job, and then?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are overwhelmed in your problems instead of giving them to Me. Seek Me first, Susanna.
October 3, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, what price do I have to pay for the anointing?
October 26, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, what’s in my heart? I don’t understand why no one really believes what You say in Your Word. No one wants to know Your Spirit. Lord, my heart wants to see so many saved, healed, and delivered. I don’t care if it is me or someone else. Lord, please have Your way. God, I am tired of having to prove myself. I will not dare try to go ahead of You. Please stop me if I do. I just really want to see ____ tomorrow and tell her that You love her. Lord, please lead me. What do I say? What do I do?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Break the spirit of intimidation off of your life. Everywhere that you go, I will lead you and guide you. Listen to My voice. Wherever you go, I will give you the words to say. Just listen to My voice. Do not run ahead of Me. Continue to seek the Kingdom of God first. Are you willing to pay the price for the anointing? I have called you. Do you heed My calling, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I heed Your calling.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Be ready in season and out of season. Always be prepared to minister. Never underestimate the situation. Things look so different in the natural. People seem to fade away. The flesh dies. I resurrect. I bring life to the dead because I am Life, Susanna. In Me, there is life. People trust others, but no one trusts Me. I am faithful. I just want someone to trust Me. Would you do foolish things for Me?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. Give me the boldness to do foolish things for You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I am looking for someone that I can trust.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Here I am, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Do not look down on your brethren. A lot of things some do not understand because there is no close walk with Me. Some things I tell you because of our intimacy, and I can trust you to tell you certain things; others, I cannot yet. Maybe as our relationship grows, and your character is shaped. Do not be stubborn, so hardcore in seeing things your way. I have not revealed everything to you. Remember that you only receive a part of My knowledge, a glimpse. You really have to trust Me. Show your husband. Let him know that you stand firm in the faith. Don’t waver. Don’t doubt. You are almost done. Are you watching?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Not like I want to.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Watch and wait for Me; for in the hour that you think not. I am coming back soon, Susanna. I am coming back soon. Dwell on heavenly things, Susanna, not on things that rust and are corrupted. Heavenly things are so much more valuable than earthly things. Put your faith in Me, the Author and Finisher of your faith. Watch and wait for Me, Susanna. Do you know how you watch and wait for Me?
⁘⁘ Susanna: By keeping busy?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: By putting the Kingdom of God first, by being prepared, by being ready. Remain ready. Tell others about Me and My return. Stay humble. Be teachable. Never compete; just serve. Always be ready. The time will come when they will see the true worshippers. The true worshippers will rise and worship God in spirit and in truth. Watch and wait; for in the hour that you think not. Do foolish things for Me, Susanna. Go out on a limb and trust Me. Watch Me perform My Word.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Go to bed, Susanna. And don’t forget what I have told you.
November 4, 2005
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Listen to My voice, Susanna. Why is your heart so downcast? You act as if your life is miserable. Why do you give up on Me so easily?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Please help me, Lord. I don’t know why.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It is because of the Word: You are lacking in it.
November 13, 2005
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Why are you embarrassed to spend time with Me? Susanna, you must not fear what others may think. You are so concerned over what you see, over what you hear in the natural. Do you know that I surpass the natural? Do you know that I am in control of every situation? Do not be moved by what others say in the flesh. Listen for My Spirit. Listen to My voice. Do not be so easily moved by the natural. The natural doesn’t move Me. Faith moves Me, Susanna. Oh, I have so many things for you. So many plans for you. I love you so much, My daughter. Sometimes, I like talking to you like this to see how well you will be obedient. Don’t get disappointed by what you see in the natural. Step over to the supernatural. Your aim is to please Me, Susanna. Learn to wait on Me—not just in one situation, but in every situation. I am the God of plenty. I have designed everything. I know what you need. Spend more time with Me, Susanna. I love spending time with you. Do you love spending time with Me?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. My heart longs to spend time with You. I long to be with You. I want that so badly.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Go solely on My Word. When you hear someone speak, listen only to My Word, and filter out everything else. When someone speaks, only listen to the Word; throw everything else away. I want to fill you with more of My power, with more of My anointing. Do not be afraid. I will teach you. I will lead you. I will watch over you. I will guide you, Susanna. I am your source for everything that you need. Let Me fill you, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I receive.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Rest in the Spirit. Dance in the Spirit. Dance!
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord!
November 15, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, what is my purpose, my calling?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Do you recognize depression when you see it? You are discouraged. Why, when the joy of the Lord is your strength?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Forgive me, Lord. You are my strength. You are my everything. I am lost without You. Nothing satisfies Me. I need more of You. Great Holy Spirit, what is my purpose?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Your purpose is to preach the Gospel. You are to tell others about Me. We are One, Susanna—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We are all One. We do not have different opinions about things. We agree on everything. I show you things for a reason, Susanna. Not so that you can “think down” about a person, but so you can pray for that person. There are things in you that still need to be burned out of you. You have not arrived yet, but you are on your way. Do not develop animosity in your heart. Stay faithful to your calling. As long as you listen to My voice and do what I tell you, you will stay in My will in the calling that I have chosen for you. Do you hate spending a lot of time with Me?
⁘⁘ Susanna: No, Lord. I just get frustrated because I want to see You. Please, Lord, have Your way.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Trust in Me, Susanna, and never doubt. Watch for Me, Susanna. Wait on Me. Everything is in My timing. I haven’t forgotten about you. I can never forget about you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, thank You for never forgetting about me. Thank You for giving me life almost thirty-one years ago.
November 25, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, please tell us what to do concerning buying or renting a house. Please give us the wisdom to decide what to do and where we should live.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I will speak to your husband concerning this.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
November 27, 2005
Entry 1
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, it seems like so much is done for a show. Lord, what needs to be changed? Lord, I realize You didn’t say to come over here, but I just want to be in Your presence. I don’t really care about what others think about me being here at the altar. Lord, what is going on in Me? I feel different since I had that dream. Is it just me? Please speak to me, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Listen for My voice, Susanna. Listen to My voice. Wait on Me. I told you that I will train you. It is not like any other training. This training will be hard to understand sometimes. Others will not understand what you are going through. Some may not believe you, but it really wouldn’t matter. It is not up to them to believe you. It is up to you to believe Me. You must trust Me. Are you ready to walk in the supernatural? Are you ready to go deeper and higher in Me? Do you still care about what others think about you? Are you looking for human praise? Seek My face, Susanna. Don’t count how many times you go to the altar. Don’t notice who is looking, who is wondering. When you come to meet with Me, nothing else matters.
Before praying for others, know what I want first. What if there is sin in that person’s life? What if there is unforgiveness? What if you are praying against My Word? Don’t pray out of your flesh to meet a need. Listen to the Spirit of God. Listen to My voice in every situation. Call upon Me, Susanna, and I will answer. I will show you great and mighty things that you have not seen. Many will not understand what is going on inside of you. Do not be afraid. Trust Me. I will never leave you, Susanna.
This training is not going to be easy. You will have to leave many friends behind—those who do not want to walk in the Spirit but choose to walk in the flesh. But pray for them, Susanna. Keep yourself separated unto Me, yet pray for them. Stay prayed up. Stay in the Word. The tests will get harder. I have given you everything that you need. I have equipped you. It is time for all the gifting to be used and come forth. Do you trust Me, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I do trust You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I do not change. I will not leave you. Okay, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. I believe Your Word.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Are you ready?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Ready for more, Lord? Yes!
November 27, 2005
Entry 2
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, where is the power in the Church?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Where’s the faithfulness, Susanna? Where are those who love Me more than anything else? Where are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness? Susanna, nobody really wants Me. Is there anyone hungering and thirsting after Me?
⸭⁘ Susanna: Lord, here I am! Please help me to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. Set me apart for Your work.
November 28, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I choose to delight myself in You. Lord, You are worthy of all praise, of all glory, and of all honor. Lord, I love You. I really mean it. I love You. I am so glad that You are my Lord, my God.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Oh, Susanna, I have always loved you. You are always on My mind. I want to give you the best things. Know My heart, Susanna; it has only good thoughts for you. Wait on Me, Susanna. Wait on Me. I have all the right timings. I know you love Me, Susanna. I look at your heart. You are My daughter. I care deeply for you. Oh, let Me hold you, My child. Do you see?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Do I see what, Lord? That all things work out together for good for those who love the Lord? Yes, Lord. I love You. I trust You. Please forgive me for telling different people about my experiences with You. Please kill all of the pride in me. I believe that I am still looking for human approval. Lord, please wipe that out of my heart.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, surrender it all to Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, You know my heart. In the natural, we have things against us. But in the supernatural, we have You on our side. You are our strength. You are our fortress. You, oh Lord, can move mountains. Nothing is impossible with You, God—having a baby, buying a great home, being debt-free, winning millions of souls for You—including my family; having Your favor, Your blessings, Your heart. Oh, God, I want You. I would rather have You than a house, a car, a baby. Without You, what else would really matter? You own everything—including our home, our son Joshua, our lives, this earth, this universe. God, who is like You? No one! You are my everything. I need You more than this air that I breathe. I need You. I surrender it all to You, Lord.
December 5, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, please speak to my heart. I am hearing that I should write a book and that it should be about healing. Lord, if this is what You want, I will do it. Lord, I cannot do anything without You. Lord, please lead me and guide me.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Start off with the gifts and explain them. Don’t worry about how it is going to be done, as of where the knowledge will come from. Trust in Me. I told you that I will lead you and guide you. This book is not for you, Susanna. It is for My Church. Listen to My voice as you write it. There are things that you don’t understand now, but you will.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, a book about healing?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I trust you, Susanna. You will flow in My abilities, not yours. Some may not think that you are experienced enough to write a book. This is because they are looking at it in the natural. With God, nothing is impossible. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Do not be afraid, Susanna. Be completely obedient. Trust in the Lord, and never doubt. Your testimony will cause many to come and know Me. You will tell others about everything, the deep hurts of your heart, and how God healed you completely. You will no longer live, but Christ will live in you. Your life is a living sacrifice given to God. It is no longer your own. Die completely, Susanna, where it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you. You are no longer that person anymore. So many people have hidden sins and secrets that they do not want anyone else to know, yet they are hurting. They feel as if nobody else understands. But, Susanna, you know that I have done these things in your life. It is time, Susanna. Do not be afraid. Do not be ashamed.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, You will love me even if everyone else rejects me?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Be willing to die completely, Susanna. Offer yourself as a living sacrifice. Offer your life to Me. You must be completely dead, where it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. You know what I think of you, Susanna. I love you. Win souls for Me. I love you, Susanna. Be obedient.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, my desire is to do Your will. Lord, please lead me and guide me. Please give me the wisdom to write this book, and I pray that You will receive all of the glory and honor. I pray that many souls will come to know You through this book. Lord, You name it. You design it. You do it, Lord. I yield to You. I will do as You have spoken.
December 13, 2005
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, what are the gifts of healing? I do not understand so many things about healing. Please open my understanding, and please give me Your wisdom. I pray to be able to write this book.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Do you know how the gift of wisdom comes, one way, by mouth? Then what if the gifts of healing came in different ways? Healing is not done the same way every time. It can be done differently. Never put God in a box. What if God wants you to do something different? You must be obedient. God works through obedient vessels.
⁘⁘ Susanna: (Note to self: What if I were given these gifts but didn’t know how to yield to the Great Holy Spirit?)
Years 2006-2007
April 16, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Thank You, King Jesus, for dying for me. Right now, I think back and realize that if I died before accepting You into my heart, I would be in Hell. But because of You, Lord, I have eternal life. Tonight, I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel as if there is a change in me. I feel as if I am finally being serious with God.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I have equipped you with everything that you need. Are you finally serious? There are many souls out there waiting. Everything that you need is already inside of you. I will never leave you. The gifts inside of you will continue to grow as you mature. Everything that you need is already in you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You, Lord, for these gifts that You have given me for Your glory, Lord.
May 12, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: I want to learn to wait on the Lord, to listen for His voice.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: What used to take many years, Susanna, will take a short period of time. Learn to watch and wait for Me, Susanna. Don’t always be in such a hurry to leave. Learn to wait on Me. Serve Me by waiting, waiting for My presence—waiting, listening, watching. Learning to wait is difficult for many: It goes against what the flesh wants them to do. Learn to wait. Do you know how, Susanna? It is very important in ministry. Don’t go off of your flesh, trying to please men. It is very important that you learn to wait on Me. Learn My voice. Don’t do anything in ministry without hearing My voice. Learning to wait is very hard, but you must learn to wait. It may seem uncomfortable at times. Why not now but learn to wait? This goes past patience: This is resting. This is yielding. This is putting what you want to the side. Yes, learning to be still. Quiet the soul. Learn to wait. Timing is everything. As you wait, listen. Don’t move ahead of Me. I will start to show you more things, deeper things. Stay pure. Keep your heart pure. It is not just about your hands, Susanna. Hands are not the only things used for healing, Susanna. What about voices? Listen, Susanna. Try to stay out of the flesh—doing works to get My attention. What am I looking for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and a pure heart.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes. Clean hands and a pure heart. You are used to seeing things done a certain way in the past, but now it is a new season: Some people, it’s hands; some people, it’s voices; some, it’s clothing. I choose to do it however I want. Just be willing to do foolish things for Me, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I want to know Your voice. I want to know it so clearly.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: What did _____ do, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: (I pictured _____ telling his friend about what was going on in his life, his testimony.) Lord, _____ gave his testimony. That is how it all started. Lord, I realize that You are allowing me the opportunity to share what You have done in my life with _____, those at work, and soon with ______. Talk about an opportunity. Lord, I didn’t see it like that.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Never underestimate an opportunity, Susanna. Tell him what I am doing in your life. You can trust him, Susanna. Let him know what kind of God I am. Let him know what I am doing. Give it to him Friday after _____, at the end of the day. When you are ready, you will know because I will tell you. What is Sunday, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Mother’s Day. It’s Mother’s Day, Lord.
May 16, 2006
“About Worship”
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Why doesn’t anyone ever start a service with worship? Sometimes, many need to kill the flesh, and they have a hard time getting into worship. So much flesh has to die. Do you realize why _____ doesn’t have these praise services like that? There are a lot of his songs that are addressed to worshipping Me. They acknowledge who I am, My ways. They don’t dwell on what your wants are. They dwell on who I am, My wants, Susanna. What is your focus? Do you know that I will show up when My presence is there? You don’t need fast or slow songs, Susanna. You need My presence. No one wants to acknowledge Me. This is why you get irritated a lot lately. Understand, Susanna. How do you get into My presence? The focus must be Me, Susanna. Every church has to burn off the flesh. Everybody has to burn off the flesh. How much time is spent in My presence during the week? People don’t understand that it is a relationship. I am looking for those who will worship Me in spirit and in truth. I am looking, Susanna. Will I find anyone? I am tired of lip service. I am tired of impure hearts. Susanna, clean hands and pure hearts: I want this. See, it’s the same thing, Susanna. It could be dull worship or loud worship, but what I want is pure hearts. There is no power in My Church for this reason: It is lip service. There are some, but the Body is doing lip service. Susanna, I can anoint you directly. I don’t need another vessel. Don’t forget where the power really comes from. It is not from man; it is from Me, Susanna. Listen for My voice. Wait on Me, Susanna. Call on My name. Do not look at the natural circumstances. I want your heart, Susanna. I want all of you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, create in me a clean heart and renew the right spirit within me.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Soon, Susanna, there will be a saturation of My presence. Soon, the containers will not be able to hold it. Soon, human containers will not be able to hold it. It will burst forth in newness and life. Signs, wonders, and miracles; healings. Pastor _____ was right about that, Susanna. Great signs, wonders. Not everyone will receive this move. They will be afraid because they will not understand. But the fields are ripe. The fields are ready.
June 18, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, I am looking at hearts. That is the most important thing. I don’t care about everything else because once I have your heart, I have everything else; you will be obedient; you will want to worship. Your words are very important; they speak life into the atmosphere (This is not declaring or decreeing.). I am teaching you how to worship. I am teaching you how to totally surrender to My will. Susanna, don’t try to be like someone else. Stay in your calling. Don’t worry about what others think of you, even your husband. Things may look different. They may not even make sense to you. I am here with you. Trust your heart, Susanna, your heart’s desire to be closer to Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I don’t want to give You lip service. Yes, You are right. How can I expect to minister to You in front of a large crowd when I can’t even do it in front of a few people? I was kidding myself when I thought that I was ready. There is so much that I still do not understand.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I have given you everything that I have. Will you give Me everything also?
June 26, 2006
At Chapel
⁘⁘ The Lord says: I want worship to be directed to Me. Would you prefer if worship/songs were sung to someone else talking about you, or would you want the song/worship to be sung to you? You would want it directed to you since it is about you. This is how I feel. I want songs/worship addressed to Me, not to everyone else concerning Me. Some want a feel-good time. Sometimes, it is just words. But no one addresses Me in worship.
July 2, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): I am learning to wait on God.
July 30, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Soak in My presence, Susanna. Learn to let go in My presence. All inhibitions, all flesh—let go of that. Be pure in My presence. Let your worship be pure. Yield to Me. Let your life be yielded to Me. Let your song be yielded to Me. Oh, Susanna, the wonderful things that I have for you. Look and see—it is all good. You will see. Step into the glory. Don’t hold back. Don’t look back. Look upon My face. Look upon My face. I am yours, Susanna, and you are Mine. Let there be nothing between us. Let there be nothing. Let there be no one. I want all of you, Susanna. Lose sight of others, and look towards Me, the Author and Finisher of your faith. Learn to worship Me until the atmosphere changes from the worship. Don’t ever give up. Become a worshipper from the heart. Praise Me from the heart. Praise Me in a song. Praise Me in a dance. Praise Me with your whole heart. Oh, Susanna, clean hands and pure hearts. The notes—the words speak life into the atmosphere. See, Susanna, I want pure worship. Pretend that there is no one else there. Let your heart out to Me in worship. I want your heart. I want all in worship. Die in your worship.
August 12, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I am keeping you hidden for a reason—until all the flesh is burned out of you. Susanna, I am keeping you hidden for a reason. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Susanna, stop trying to be a man-pleaser. Susanna, don’t try to be like everyone else. I have made you different. Stop trying to look a certain way for your husband. You will go crazy trying to please him. Please Me, Susanna. Be obedient. Follow after Me with your whole heart. I’m keeping you hidden for a reason, Susanna. Don’t worry. Everyone will know that I have called you at the right time, the right timing. Remove the man-pleasing from your life. Do you know why you are not up there singing yet? It is because you are not ready. But you will be soon! Why do you think that you are always under attack? It is because you have a great purpose, a great mission: You are a pioneer.
August 13, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I have already equipped you with everything that you need to minister.
August 17, 2006
Entry 1
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Tell them what Heaven is like, Susanna—not just Hell, but also what I have in store for My children.
August 17, 2006
Entry 2
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I do care about how you feel. Thank you for coming upstairs even though you were tired. This shows Me your heart. Go to bed, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I love You too, Lord.
August 28, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): Early this morning, I heard the Great Holy Spirit say, “Watch and wait for Me, for in the hour when you think not.” I woke up hearing those words around 5 a.m. I didn’t really know what to think. I feel in my spirit that King Jesus is coming soon.
September 2, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): Lord, please lead me and guide me. I need Your help. I need You in everything that I do. Please help me, Lord. I need to hear Your voice.
September 4, 2006
Message from the Lord
⁘⁘ Yahweh says it: As I watched you pray, My heart wanted to answer you. What am I looking for? Clean hands and pure hearts. Seek My face with your whole heart, and I will reveal Myself to you. I will reveal My ways to you. You are not alone. I look after My children. I am faithful. Is there any like Me? Do not be afraid. Do not fear the unknown, for your knowledge is limited, but Mine is not. I know everything. I see everything. Do not stop seeking after Me. Do not stop. I will not disappoint you. I am faithful to do what I said I will do. Watch and wait for Me; for in the hour when you think not. I am faithful. Trust in Me, My child. I love you. I love you. I have so much for you.
September 11, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I have called you to bring change. I have called you to bring radical change to worship. It cannot be in the flesh anymore, Susanna. I need your heart. I must have all of you in worship. Yield to Me, Susanna. Susanna, no more lip service. Mean what you say when you talk to Me, Susanna. I have so much. Susanna, I am limitless. I have so much. Don’t stop seeking Me. I know that you are in pain. It will be over soon. The pain will be over soon. Soon you will see the fruit of your labor. I have given you a beautiful baby, Susanna. Wait until you see your baby, Susanna. It is what you have always wanted. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. What am I looking for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna, clean hands and pure hearts. I am teaching you a different style of worship. It is not just you, Susanna. Wait on Me. Watch and see. Only good things I have for you. Learn to wait in My presence. Learn to wait on Me. Learn to wait on Me in worship. You cannot give in to your flesh in worship. How bad do you want it?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Very bad.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Learn to breathe Me. It may seem weird at first, but the more you do it, the more you will learn to rely on My breath, My Spirit. See, some people get used to doing things the same way all the time that they cannot change. Do you understand? This is why My breath is so important. You must learn to breathe Me all the time. Stop looking at others. Focus on Me. Wait on Me, Susanna. Stay humble. That is all I have to say right now, Susanna. I love you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I love You too, Lord. Thank You.
September 16, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): In the car, the Spirit said to me, “Get over yourself. Let Me use you. I want to use you.” I didn’t realize that I was the one keeping me from going forward in this calling.
September 24, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, what am I looking for?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I want your heart. Don’t give Me anything less. Susanna, learn to wait on Me. This is so important. Stop looking at what others think. This is bigger than you. Look and see. It is time for a change, a change in the supernatural; a change where Heaven comes to Earth. Susanna, it is time for My Son to be revealed in all the earth. Susanna, watch and wait for Me. I love you, Susanna. I love you with pure love. My love is so pure, Susanna. Do not doubt My love for you ever. I want to rain it down on you and on others. Susanna, I have so much for you. Do not doubt. Do not doubt My Word. Watch and see. Wait for Me. Things are changing. It is time for a change. It is time for a change in the atmosphere. It is time for a change. What am I looking for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna, I want all of you. Clean hands and pure hearts.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Take all of me, Lord. Take my heart. Take all of me. I yield to You completely, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: To be used by Me, it will take all of you. But are you ready?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I want to be, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Are you ready for this change? You must be ready, Susanna. Watch and wait for Me. Be ready. Be ready, Susanna. Be ready to be used by Me. It is time for a change.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Where, Lord?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: In the atmosphere, in the earth, in My people. It’s time, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I am Your servant. Let it be so as You have spoken.
September 26, 2006
Entry 1
⁘⁘ Susanna Leads: What is the difference between the seer and the prophet?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Why don’t you trust Me, Susanna? How did I call My prophets of old? I would tell them that I have called them. They didn’t need man’s approval to know that they were called.
September 26, 2006
Entry 2
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Trust Me, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Great Holy Spirit, what should I do about the songs?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Be a good steward of the songs.
⁘⁘ Susanna: How do I become a good steward?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Don’t sit on them. Don’t hide them. Use them to build the Kingdom.
September 29, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, tonight I feel as if this vision, this dream, is about to come forth. I feel as if it is now, but how do I know for sure? I believe it will be in full force in a few weeks, but how do I know, Lord? Please lead me and guide me. Please, Lord, I don’t want to go ahead of You, but I really feel the time is now, or at least soon, as if there is no return. I am so excited. I can’t explain it, Lord. Please guide me, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Learn the songs, Susanna. If it were your choir director telling you, you would have learned these already. Why are you so slow to do what I ask? Is it because you cannot see Me, or is it because there is a fear of man still there? You will be ready when you can be completely obedient to Me. How long it takes is up to you. I am waiting on you, Susanna. Obedience is better than sacrifice.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, please forgive me. I am sorry. Please help me, Great Holy Spirit.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I am, Susanna, but you must do your part.
October 15, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, I am so tired of lip service. Susanna, I am so tired of lip service. I am tired of it. Susanna, I want true worship. I want worship from the heart—not about your circumstances, not from your emotions. I am longing for fellowship. I am longing for intimacy (non-sexual intimacy). I am longing to be intimate with you. I am longing to be intimate with My Bride. I want so much more. Search Me, Susanna. Search My heart by My Spirit. I have so much more to give, Susanna. Susanna, don’t be afraid of change. How does My presence come? Worship Me. Acknowledge Me. Susanna, worship Me. Susanna, worship Me. Susanna, I want worship. Susanna, don’t be afraid of change. Don’t expect to be like everyone else. Be different. Follow after Me with your whole heart. Don’t be critical of another’s worship. Learn what I am showing you: feel good service, Susanna, but no worship to Me. Pray, Susanna, that worship would come to Me in spirit and truth.
October 27, 2006
“Do Not Compromise”
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, you are not doing anything in the spirit realm if you sing about yourself. Do not compromise. You must worship Me in spirit and in truth. All people like to do is please the flesh! Susanna, I am not here. How can I be here when I am not even acknowledged? How can I be? Susanna, this is serious. People need to understand how My presence comes. Susanna, the works of the flesh: do not operate in that. Stay away from the works of the flesh. Singing should never be a performance; it should always be worship and praise to Me. Always, Susanna. Don’t ever compromise. Susanna, people will tell you to compromise. Don’t. Susanna, don’t compromise—ever.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, what do we do? Lord, what do we do as a Church? How do we get the focus off of ourselves and onto You?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: There must be someone who doesn’t compromise, Susanna, like Daniel. He never compromised, even though it could have cost his life. He didn’t compromise what he believed. Susanna, it is going to be hard. You will be opposed in this. There is so much tradition, so much religion, yet no power, and people wonder why. Susanna, it is time for the worshippers to come forth—those who will worship Me in spirit and truth. Susanna, it is time. I want to pour out so much, Susanna, but how can I? No one wants Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, imagine what would happen if worship were directed to You. What would happen, Lord? Would we see Heaven come down to this earth?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, how can you flow in the Spirit when you are not of the Spirit? How can the world and the Spirit be one? There must be separation. You cannot serve both God and mammon. Susanna, I am so tired of flesh. I am so tired of lip service.
November 10, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): This morning, while driving to work, I spent a little time with God. The Lord told me something like this: “Susanna, I am establishing your ministry.” I told Him, “It is not my ministry, Lord. It is Yours.” He said, “Thank you for giving it back to Me.” (“I am establishing My ministry through you.”) He then told me that I must…
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Never forget where the power comes from. You are a vessel—that’s it. Don’t ever forget where the power comes from. You will see many great miracles. You will lay hands on the sick, and they will be healed because of My name. You will not always have to lay hands on them. Sometimes, they will get healed just by singing a song. You will see many great things, but do not let pride get in. Don’t exalt yourself. I will raise you up. Never forget where the power really comes from. Worship Me.
November 12, 2006
Entry 1
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, there is still so much flesh in me. Please burn out the flesh, Lord. How can I be ready when there is so much flesh inside of me?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Get the focus off of yourself, Susanna. It is not about you at all.
⁘⁘ Susanna: It is not about me. It is all about You, Lord.
November 12, 2006
Entry 2
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I am having a dilemma about this song. I have it written in a certain key, and the producer wants to change it to a different key. I don’t feel at peace about it completely. Lord, how do You want me to sing the song?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: How did I give it to you, Susanna? Fear of man makes you compromise.
November 26, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, when will people learn? When will people understand? They must be taught. Works do not get you into My presence. I need your heart, Susanna. I can see right through you. I look at the heart. People try to praise Me in the flesh. I don’t like it, Susanna. I want so much more. Do you see what is going on? People are afraid of losing control, Susanna. People are afraid, Susanna, and when they are afraid, insecure, they put others down. Help your husband, Susanna. Support him. Now is the time for the flesh to come out of him, for his character to be built. Susanna, do not let offense set in. Do not take offense for your husband. Just support him. He doesn’t understand what is going on, but he will soon. Do not despise that your position is not noticed. Just serve. Do it as unto the Lord. Do it from your heart. I will raise you up when the time is right. Submit, even when the authority is fleshly. This is true character-building. Do not defend your husband to leadership. Let him go through this, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, teach us how to be humble.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Everything is in My timing, Susanna. Yes, the conference is fine. Help Pastor _____. Don’t worry, Susanna. I have wonderful plans for _____ also. I have given him that gift, and soon that gift will be polished. Don’t worry. Just serve with your whole heart. This is all for now, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Yahweh (cont.): He will do sound for your ministry, Susanna. Mike will do sound for your ministry.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, You have to tell him this.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I will in time. You two are a team. I have designed it that way. He will be a good (music) sound person—the best you could get because it is in his heart. You will see. Allow him to grow in his gift. Just support him.
November 30, 2006
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I am confirming My word to you. I am confirming you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I am establishing your ministry. I am establishing your ministry. Serve Me well. Serve Me with your whole heart.
December 5, 2006
“Fellowship is Important”
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, My Body needs to understand how important fellowship is. I am so tired of lip service, Susanna. I am so tired of third person talk. I want direct communication. I long for one-to-one communication. I long for fellowship. My Body has to understand this. No more performing. No more lip service. I long for fellowship, Susanna. I long for intimacy. I long to have someone talk to Me. I don’t care about how great your voice is or how “off” you are; I want intimacy. I want your heart. I want to take you deeper and higher in Me. I want My Body to experience so much more. Oh, Susanna, if you could only see what I have. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Taste and see, Susanna. Never compromise what I have told you. Many will not understand, Susanna. I have a special work for you to do. I do not have respect for persons. It is just that I have a calling for you—a calling that will affect many. It is not just you, Susanna. Be prepared for a change—a change in the way things are done. It is time for a change, Susanna. It is time for a change—a change in the atmosphere, a change. You will see a change that must take place. My Bride must be ready for My return. My Bride must be ready. I am coming back soon.
December 9, 2006
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): I noticed today that I have a problem mocking others. I would imitate something that they said. I don’t understand why I would do this. Someone pointed this out to me. I am so glad that they did. I didn’t realize that I did that—that I had this problem. How do I get rid of this ugliness? I don’t want to mock others.
December 31, 2006
Entry 1
(During Church Service)
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Susanna, take worship to another level.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, how do I do that?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Never compromise. Susanna, you must never compromise. Your words have power. Proclaim, declare (not in a creative standing) in your songs. Do not take this assignment lightly. Do not compromise. Write down that I told you that you need to forgive. Never hold a grudge. Remember that you will be working with imperfect people. You must forgive. Oh, Susanna, if you could see things the way that I see things. I have wonderful plans. These times are your training times. I am burning all of the flesh out of you. You are starting not to care what others think about you. Susanna, the time is now. It is time to win souls for Me. Susanna, this is serious. This is so important. Susanna, die completely—completely to where you just hear Me and see Me. You must. So many people will not understand, but it is okay. It is okay, Susanna. It is okay. I will never leave you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: What’s wrong with me, Father?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are not dry right now, Susanna. You are hungry for Me. You are so hungry. Susanna, that’s how I want you all of the time. Susanna, seek after Me with your whole heart. Finish the things that you start. Come to church tonight. Susanna, seek after Me tonight. What am I looking for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Seek after Me with clean hands and pure hearts. Susanna, I will not disappoint you. Susanna, in ministry, never compromise.
December 31, 2006
Entry 2
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): I saw a wave of God going over the congregation. The Lord said that He wanted to show me something. He said that He rained on the just as well as the unjust. He rains on those who deserve it as well as those who do not. We all don’t deserve it. It is His goodness. It is His love.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, you must learn to love people with all of their faults.
⁘⁘ Yahweh (cont.): I don’t want you to be just a songwriter: I want you to be a worshipper.
December 31, 2006
Entry 3
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Never forget, Susanna. You can have the gifts and not the Giver of the gifts. Always remember to wait on Me. Wait for My presence, Susanna. I must always be the focus of every service, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I just realized that I have not been grateful that the Lord allows me to sing and play music at work—_____ All this time, I have been trying to get on the church platform when I have this whole workplace to minister in. Lord, please forgive me for not being thankful for what You have given me.
≈
A Detailed Visit to Heaven
This experience took place on New Year’s Eve (2006). This is a formal writing about that event by Susanna.
I have heard of near-death experiences, yet I did not experience this. I have heard of people leaving their bodies on purpose, yet this was truly not my goal. I just wanted to go on a supernatural ride in one of God’s chariots.
There are spirit beings—angels and demons—that cannot be seen; they operate from the unseen realm, yet they influence natural shifts. Spirit beings are made up of a matter called spirit and can be seen by humans when they materialize or if God chooses to bring a vision to the receiver. These spirit beings exist because God has chosen this. King Jesus created all things, including what cannot be seen, yet many do not want to note that the unseen realm is real.
Before we move further, I should make something clear: Never attempt to engage the spirit realm with your own natural plan. Always speak to the Great Holy Spirit before engaging unseen beings. Engaging the spirit realm is not an area of play, nor should one try to converse with spirits out of curiosity. Wait for the Great Holy Spirit’s counsel; depend on Him to lead all supernatural interactions. Allowing yourself to be influenced by the unseen realm can welcome various demonic attacks and may even give a body territory over to Satan, where demons take a place of residence within.
With this visit to Heaven, I didn’t know what to expect. I did not understand this—what God was doing with me to enable me to see what He had planned. I did not plan this, but God revealed His presence and gave me a unique view of what He has available to those who would be with Him throughout eternity. I humbled myself before Him, hoping for a deeper move of His Spirit. I longed to get closer to Him, where I could taste even more of His presence, and He allowed me to do so.
In the vision, the chariot stood before me—one that was not of earthly materials. It glistened in a pure gold that stood out. The gold was the brightest form of gold ever seen; there were no imperfections. I looked over the chariot and noticed beautiful creatures were driving it. These horses stood still as I looked over the details of the chariot itself. I thought, Could I be standing in front of a chariot sent by God Himself? I could not resist. I looked down to see how the floor had been situated so I would know what to do. I stood inside the chariot and held on to the gold bar that was placed in front. This chariot did not have an overhead covering. It was made just to take a person to their final waiting place or destination.
I looked around and saw various clusters of stars and galaxies so brilliantly made. It seemed as if only seconds had passed as the chariot went through the universe. It was an experience that I could not find in reading a good book. With my own eyes, I saw God’s handiwork, but not through a telescope. There was no need for a space suit or breathing apparatus. I could breathe in the various worlds around me and feel the movement of the horses as they galloped. My hands could embrace the bar before me. Unlike a dream, I was fully aware of my surroundings; they were truly there.
I saw Heaven, where I was truly there. I am not the first to see Heaven before death, in the natural. Others have gone before me on this adventure. Here is one example, as recorded in Scripture:
(2) I was caught up to the third heaven fourteen years ago. Whether I was in my body or out of my body, I don’t know—only God knows. (3) Yes, only God knows whether I was in my body or outside my body. But I do know (4) that I was caught up to paradise and heard things so astounding that they cannot be expressed in words, things no human is allowed to tell. (5) That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses.
—2 Corinthians 12:2-5 NLT
To continue with the experience, I stood in the entranceway to my home in Heaven. What would my home be like? Would it have my tastes in mind? It had more than I could dream of. This home in Heaven was how God knew I would want it, even though I had no idea what to envision. The door opened to lead to a stairway that split both ways; one way led to the left and the other to the right. Dark colors were the main theme.
I noticed the walls were not made of earthly materials as one would envision. This house had walls layered with expensive jewels. The walls were see-through, revealing layers of fine jewels of different colors and sizes. It was a unique view. I placed my hand on the wall. There, I could touch this and feel the texture and coolness against my hand. My senses were in tune with my surroundings, where I could feel the details all around me as if on Earth.
I walked through this house from one room to the next. Each view had my tastes in mind. A meeting place within this beautiful dwelling resembled what most would call a kitchen. Lined with many windows, it allowed the light from God’s Throne to shine. I could see the green mountains in the yard behind the house. The house was on a mountain. Across the way, I could see the origin of the heavenly light. The back of the house carried hills and a deep valley, green and lush. Life was abundant and shined forth even brighter than a painting could produce. But this was no painting. This was a visit to where God dwells—His Heaven.
As I moved to the next room, I noticed a creature sitting on a large piece of furniture. I moved in to see this—whether or not it was a dog or some other animal I recognized from Earth. As I moved, the beauty of this creature became more obvious, and so did its makeup. The details revealed a beautiful large lion sitting peacefully in the home the Lord had prepared for me. He knew how much I love lions and how beautiful they are, so He chose to give me a lion of my own—just to say He could do this, to bring me a desire I so longed on Earth to have.
This lion stood still as I placed my hand upon its long mane. I gently stroked this beauty. I remember being amazed at how this lion would not kill me. It was an experience to note. I could not get close to a creature like this while on Earth due to sin, but here, I could get as close as I would like. There is no sin in God’s creation in Heaven—no sin, death, sorrow, or pain. This is what awaits us, and I was getting a taste before I died.
I was not dying or dead. I was fully experiencing this as the Lord would reveal it. I walked over to the balcony to see this view once more. There was a light shining brightly as if a central point—not a natural light but the light from God’s throne. He gave this pure light that made it all so clear to see. Across the view, there was lush greenery. Before me, in the deepest part of the valley, was a large pond where a family of dolphins was swimming in unity within the pond. Such unity existed there.
My view changed to see the activity taking place in my backyard. Below were children playing. They were not so young that they were unaware that another was watching from above them. I looked and saw one who stood in place to watch me. I noticed the resemblance within my heart that he could be the child I lost in a miscarriage. I just knew he was my boy. I wanted to go closer and truly see his face and talk with him. I wanted to see him and let him know I am his mom—one he had never really met. I wanted to know more about him, and I saw him there. My heart wanted to know who this person was with him—the one who played with him in the backyard, along with the large animals that came in freely whenever they would choose to.
The yard was filled with movement and activity. The landscape was lush and green. The memory is still as vivid as the day I went. I wished in my heart that this moment would not end. Maybe God would not take me, where He returned me to this earth. It wasn’t time to stay. It was just a visit to see what God had prepared for me throughout eternity.
Oh, how I longed to experience so much more, where I could stay and embrace my new home—this heavenly place where I would dwell with God without worrying about sin or death. I know this place is truly here and is available to all who believe in Jesus, God’s Son, but this could not be proven. Even though this was revealed to me, I cannot prove to you this place exists.
But I want to share even more of this experience with you. I was now outside of this house. The door closed behind me. The doorknob—not of any earthly material that is of normal use. I left the house and walked down the sidewalk in Heaven. The place was on a street that had houses in a row. The dwelling places were literally glistening—the brightest shade of yellow ever imagined. But it was not a typical yellow. The shade of color reminded me of a brilliant yellow that shined brightly. I knew it was the place where it brilliantly shined with the light of God’s great presence. There was no place of shadows or darkness. All things were illuminated with the light of God.
As I walked, I heard a voice call to me, telling me to keep walking. I continued. Three times I heard a voice calling, telling me to keep moving. I did until I reached the river. The water was amazingly clear—the clearest water I have ever seen, truly as crystal. I walked closer until I reached the edge of the riverbank. I watched those who gathered around as they played in the river. There was beauty never seen before through my eyes, a place of peace and true life in everything that moved. I reached out my hands and took the water in my palms. I felt it against my face. It was truly refreshing, a perfect place. My feet dangled in the wake of the others who were near.
I looked up and saw a tree filled with fruit I had never seen before on Earth. The color itself caught my attention. I stood up to reach for one of the fruits from the tree near me. I could not resist but taste it. One bite. And I did. The taste was unexpected. The fruit was cold and crisp when I first tasted it. Then the taste changed to a creamy texture, with a flavor similar to honey and a lasting residue in my mouth I could not easily forget.
While enjoying this fruit from God’s tree, an angel stood beside me. I observed him, for I did not know who he was, nor did I know what he was doing there. I found out he was my angel sent by God to be with me. He is with me even this day. I asked him if I could touch his clothing, and he agreed to my request. Then I asked if I could touch his wing. He allowed me to do so. His clothing and his wing were so real to the touch. The garment was silky smooth and flowed well on him. His wing was a thick layer of feathers, very large in diameter. No mini angel but one of great strength.
He stood with me and told me it was time to go home to my earthly dwelling. I did not want to go. I would prefer to stay there. We went to the chariot. People stopped to look at me as we took a scenic route through a street in one of the neighborhoods. The road was also made to resemble the nearby glistening bright surroundings. All looked as if it were pure gold and a very bright shade of yellow. That is my human seeing, for I know God has a place that is truly indescribable.
Once again, we were going through the great galaxies the Lord created. I could feel the environment around me. This is not to say there is air in space and that there is wind. This is to say that the movement through the earth is very similar to the movement I experienced during this ride back to my earthly dwelling place. Heaven is real, and it’s not that far away in the unseen realm.
Father’s Day 2019
Yahweh gives a seeing. Yahweh looks at the servant and says:
I have kept this from you. You noticed while on your visit that the people stopped and looked at My servant as you rode by, but I never gave an understanding as to why they paused and turned to look at you. See it: your spirit shows what calling is connected to your way. Purpose, in earthly living, is connected to how We present your way. No plan was given in previous ways to state the reason for their staring, but now, there is a way, a power plan that can no longer be ignored. The servant is a last-days world-level prophet who has a surging of power that is greater than any prophet from old or current church ways of earthly leaders. That’s why I kept you hidden. “I doubt you would have stayed” would be how others would view you. And they would be an accurate way. Without the leaving of your body to embrace this vision, I would not have you in My waiting plan. Faith is important. At the same plan, I have torn your spirit and taken all earthly plans, bringing you under humble planning. And with such a powerful spiritual stripping, there had to be a tangible way of engagement that kept you grounded and always trusting that Heaven is real. Now it’s time for your way to finish the report on the Hell. Many souls. Many souls are crying out. Warn the whole world. I am Yahweh, God of all flesh and powerful King of the universe. Let’s bring Kingdom order into natural ways so that the lost can know of your Great God. I am God by design. Now, give them the Gospel.
January 21, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Susanna, can you feel My presence? Can you feel it? Learn to tell the difference. Learn to tell when My presence is there. Wait for My presence, Susanna. Don’t act without My presence. Listen for My voice, Susanna. Susanna, do not act without My presence. Learn to wait on Me. This is sometimes hard to do, but it is important. Susanna, what am I looking for?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna. Don’t be afraid, Susanna. Many will not understand, but it is okay. It doesn’t matter. Listen to My voice. Follow Me, Susanna, and everything will be fine. Susanna, don’t be afraid. Go for it. Sing your heart out. Praise Me. Worship Me. Just listen to My voice. Do not be a man-pleaser; be a God-pleaser. Focus on Me. Focus on Me. Always focus on Me. Susanna, give Me your whole heart in worship. Give Me all of you in worship. Yield to Me completely, no matter how foolish it may seem. I want all of you in worship. I am serious. Do not go to the right or to the left. Focus on Me. Do not compromise. Do not compromise in worship. Many will think that you are trying to be holier than thou, but it is important that you heed My voice. Do not compromise in worship. I want all of it, Susanna. I want all of it. I want you. I want all of you. No more. No more. No more second-hand stuff. I want the best. I deserve the best. I am God. Am I not? Yes, I am, and because of who I am, this is required. I love you. I want to give you more. I need more from you. I need all of you. Susanna, I love you. Serve Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint you. Listen to My voice. Do not compromise. Learn to wait on Me, Susanna. Remove all fear of man. All fear of man must go. Susanna, I love you. I have so much for you. Don’t give up on Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I won’t, Father. I believe You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I love you.
March 18, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Tonight, I believe that Susanna died. My wants, desires, and will died tonight. I no longer live. Father, what is Your will for me?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: To preach the Gospel, Susanna. Your will is to preach the Gospel to the nations. Yes, you have My will. The time is near, Susanna. Remember what I told you?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Which part, Lord?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You will be missionaries for Me. Not the way you think. You will be on a mission. This is a new day for you, Susanna. Susanna, do not doubt what I have told you. It will all come to pass. Wait on Me. Don’t give up, Susanna. Tell many people about Me. It’s all about souls, about building the Kingdom. Don’t give up. Keep watching and waiting for Me. In the hour when you think not. I love you, Susanna. Yes, you are a prophet. You are still in training. You will always be. Don’t worry. My Word will stand. I am not a man, Susanna. No one can change My plans. Tonight was another step closer; you are birthing. Don’t stop. Don’t give up. I have wonderful plans for you. Do you believe Me, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Watch and wait for Me, Susanna. Trust Me. Believe My words. Taste and see, Susanna. I love you, Susanna. Why do you doubt? Don’t you know that I am always with you? You have this burning inside of you to preach My Word. This is your calling, Susanna. I have called you. Do not doubt My calling. It will all come to pass. Believe My Word, Susanna. I cannot lie. Do not give up. Trust Me. I know. I understand, Susanna. Don’t worry. My plans for you are good. Don’t worry, Susanna. I love you. Everything is in My timing. Everything is in My timing. I made you just the way you are for a reason—fearfully and wonderfully made. Susanna, I have wonderful plans for you. You will see. Oh, My daughter, if you only knew how close you were. You are so close. Don’t give up. Don’t worry, Susanna. It’s all worth it. Susanna, trust Me. Believe Me. I see the end.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, is it wonderful?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, My plans are good. You will see. Don’t give up. Follow Me. I told you the tests will not be easy. Pay the price and receive the anointing. You have to pay the price for the anointing. I must have all of you. You must no longer live. I must be the only One living in you. Are you willing to pay the price, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Don’t give up. Seek after Me with your whole heart. Die to yourself.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Do You believe that Jesus came in the flesh?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna, I do believe that. Jesus is the Son of God.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I am glad that You believe that.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I love you with a perfect love. I will always be here.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You, Lord. I believe You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Don’t worry. It will all become a little clearer soon. Don’t give up.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You, Lord, for talking with me. I needed to hear Your voice.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Good night. I love you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I love You too, Father.
April 8, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, listen to My voice. Listen to My voice, Susanna. Susanna, I know your heart is hurting. I know your heart is broken. I am here for you, Susanna. I love you. Trust Me, Susanna. Trust My voice. Do not look at your circumstances. Do not dwell on the pain. Focus on Me, Susanna. Let Me heal you. Be vulnerable to Me. I want to heal you. You can pass this test, Susanna. Know that I am constant. Love with your whole heart no matter what. Trust Me, Susanna. I will never leave you. I am always here, Susanna. I am always here for you, with you. I love you. Do you believe Me?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. I believe You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, show Me that you believe Me. Show Me. Susanna, I love you. I love you, Susanna. Show Me with your heart. Give Me your heart. Give Me all of you. I want all of you, Susanna. Don’t be afraid to be exposed. Give Me your heart. Expose it to Me. I love you, Susanna. Susanna, I love you. I care about what is going on in your life. I care, Susanna. I see it. It will all be over soon. Eternity is right around the corner. Do not give up. Be strong in the Lord. Fight this battle to win. Win souls for Me, Susanna. Be Kingdom-focused. Focus on the plan that I have. Focus on My will, My purpose. Follow after Me, Susanna. Change your view. Become Kingdom-minded. Seek Me first, Susanna. All other things will be added. All other things, Susanna. I am faithful to do as I have promised. I am faithful, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You, Lord. I am so glad that You are faithful and able to do what You said You will do. I fix my eyes on You, Lord. I will focus on You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are still going to Alaska, Susanna, but not as you know it.
May 1, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: I have called you, Susanna. Do not be afraid. Write down what I am about to tell you. I am doing a new thing in this land, such as never seen before. Take heed. Watch and wait, Susanna. Do not fear. I am with you always, Susanna. Do you think I will ever leave you? No, Susanna. I am faithful. You must trust Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint. The time is now. Soon, Susanna, you will see a great awakening, such as never seen before. You will see it with your own eyes. Many will come to know Me. You will see it in this day, in this hour. Do not be dismayed. The Lord is with you. Watch and wait for Me. Keep My Word. Obey My commandments. Follow My ways. Seek after Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint you. Are you ready, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I do not believe that I will ever be as ready as I should, but with Your grace and mercy, I will. I will be able to do the work You have called me to do.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Be a light. Be a light in this dark world, Susanna. I love you so much. I love you, Susanna. I know that you are in pain. Soon, My daughter, soon. Don’t give up. Don’t give up. I have given you everything that you need. I am here. Listen to My voice. Seek My face. Turn your heart towards Me. Turn from your wicked ways. Draw close to Me. I will hear you. A man’s heart is wicked, Susanna. No one knows it but Me. Be prepared. The tests will get harder. It is not that I have forsaken you, Susanna; it is so you can get stronger. You must be strong in the Lord. Your roots must run deep. Do not give up so easily. Oh, Susanna, you will see. I have good plans. Take heart, Susanna. Keep the faith. I am here. You are not alone. I am always with you. Do not be afraid of the unknown. Rest in Me, Susanna. Rest in the purposes and plans that I have for your life. Focus on Me. You can never go wrong when you focus on Me. I am the Way, Susanna. Soon. Soon you will see. There will be a change, a mighty shifting, a breakthrough. You will see it. Do not be surprised. I have already told you. I keep My Word. I look over My Word to perform it. Taste and see, Susanna. I am good. I can satisfy you. I can fill the void in your heart.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You, Father. I enjoy spending time with You. I will rest in You. I will give You my heart to fill. I don’t know how or when, but I long to do Your will.
May 3, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): During chapel, the Lord told me to share this when _____ asks if anyone has anything to say.
Message from the Lord
⁘⁘ Yahweh says it: Seek after Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint you. I am faithful to do as I have said. Seek after Me continually. There will be so many distractions, but you must remain focused on Me. Your focus must be Me. I am doing a new thing, such as you have never seen before. Many will not accept it, but that is okay. That will not stop Me from moving, from bringing restoration and healing to this land. I hear your prayers. I see your tears. I look into the heart of man. What am I looking for? Clean hands and pure hearts. There is something coming that is greater than you have ever seen. I am faithful to do what I have spoken. I look after My children. Call unto Me, and I will answer. Seek after Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint. I am looking for a people who will hunger after Me, who will not give up. I love you. I love you more than you realize. If you only knew the wonderful plans that I have for you. I love you. Learn to wait on Me. I will not disappoint you. I love you. Watch and wait for Me; for in the hour when you think not. The time is now. Soon there will be a great harvest, a great reaping as never seen before. I am faithful. Trust Me. Trust My Word. Wait on Me. Don’t give up. Don’t give up.
May 13, 2007
Mother’s Day
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: See, Susanna. What am I looking for?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna. Clean hands and pure hearts. This is what I want. Nothing less. Where is your heart?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I don’t know, Lord. I don’t want to go through any more motions. I want to be real with You. I don’t want to pretend. I want to be real with You. Please show me how.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yield to Me completely, Susanna. Seek after Me with your whole heart. Seek after Me, Susanna. Hunger after Me. You are looking in the wrong places. Look to Me for satisfaction. Look to Me. Focus on Me. Long for My presence. Are you dead yet?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I don’t know, Lord. How would I be if I were dead?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Your desires will match up with Mine. Your focus would be what I see. You will long for what I want. Oh, Susanna, don’t give up. Don’t give up. Do you expect others to see this? What do you expect? This is why you must focus on Me. This is why you must heed My voice. This is why you must heed Me, Susanna. If you don’t, you will focus on what others are saying. Remember that My Word cannot return void. My Word never fails. Your focus must be Me. I told you, you will receive opposition. Many will not believe you—will not receive this vision that I have put in you. But this is okay. This is okay, Susanna. Do My will. Hear the call. Follow after Me. I have called you. I have called you, Susanna. Do not doubt. Do not doubt the call. The tests will get harder.
What I want you to do is listen to My voice. What I want you to do is listen. Heed My voice. Seek after My ways. Susanna, you are not alone. You are not alone. I have never left you. You must trust that I am always there. I am always with you. I am always with you. What did My prophets do? My prophets were opposed. They were not believed. They spoke My Word, but they were not believed. They followed after Me, but they were not received. Susanna, trust Me. Trust My words. Susanna, you cannot look to the right or to the left. Your focus must be Me. Oh, Susanna, let Me burn you up in My fire.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Burn me up, Lord. Burn me up in Your fire.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: See, Susanna, do you understand fire?
⁘⁘ Susanna: No, Lord, I don’t understand it well.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, when you burn in the fire, there is nothing left of you. You are dead. Susanna, fire catches on. Fire consumes. Fire burns up everything in its path. My fire cannot be put out. My fire cannot be put out. Water adds to it. The water of My Spirit adds to the fire. My fire will consume everything in its path. You will see. Watch, Susanna. Watch what My Spirit will do. Watch a release in the atmosphere. Watch a release in the heavenly realm. Watch a release. You will see a shifting, a loosening. Chains are broken by My fire. Look, angels are being dispatched. Angels are being loosed to do My will. Susanna, do not underestimate the power of My fire. I am an all-consuming fire. It is like the fire, shut up in your bones. But this fire is greater only because it will consume more. Susanna, do not look at the things that you see in the natural. Do not look at that. Focus on Me. Susanna, trust My Word. Stop feeling that you have to live for your husband, Susanna. Live for Me. So much man-pleasing.
May 17, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, Father God, today I will heed Your voice. This day, I choose to believe Your Word. I don’t want to doubt anymore. Lord, please tell me again. What have You called me to do? I would like to hear this call again and heed Your Word.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I love you. I have called you. Do not doubt that I have called you, Susanna, a prophet to the nations. Many will not understand the calling on your life, but that is okay. There must be training, Susanna, and preparation. You cannot expect to go out into full-time ministry without proper preparation. Do not look at your circumstances. Follow after Me, Susanna. Write My Word on your heart. Follow after Me with your whole heart. Seek after Me with your whole heart. I will answer you. I love you. Do not take this assignment lightly. It is not a light assignment. Trust Me, Susanna. This will impact many. Don’t expect the norm. What am I looking for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Seek after Me with your whole heart. I am talking to you, Susanna. Do not doubt. Do not fear. Yes, you cannot do this on your own. I will send people to help you. Do you see, Susanna? The vision is big. It is not your vision but Mine. Rest in Me. Do not doubt. I will be with you. Trust Me. Trust My Word; It never fails. You will see. I am faithful. I am, Susanna. I am faithful. I am not a man. I am not easily persuaded by man. Faith moves Me. Trust in Me. Do not doubt Me, Susanna. What am I looking for? I want all of you. From now on, Susanna, I want all of you. You must die completely to do this work that I have called you to do. Die completely, Susanna. Susanna, hear My voice. This work will not be easy, but I have equipped you with everything that you need. Be faithful. There’s a lot of work to be done. Never forget where the power comes from. Stay humble. Never forget where the power comes from. So many souls that need to come into the Kingdom. They are waiting for someone to tell them. Be a light for Me. Spread the Good News. Be My mouthpiece. Jesus is coming back soon! Shout it from the rooftops. It is time, Susanna. Are you ready?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I don’t believe I am as ready as I should be.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Watch and wait for Me, Susanna, for in the hour when you think not. Tell others about Me, Susanna. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid, Susanna. Rest in Me. Rest in Me, Susanna. You have a lot of work to do.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You, Father, for speaking to me. I believe You. I will prepare and be ready for this work that You have called me to. I love You, Father. I am so glad that I am Your daughter.
June 3, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, the anointing is upon you. Susanna, the anointing is upon you—not for your pleasure but for Mine. I want to use you to bring others to Me. This using is not one of neglect and waste but profit. I will multiply you by My power. Do not be afraid of a new thing. Do not be afraid. Just listen for My voice. Just follow after Me with your whole heart, Susanna. Be prepared. Be prepared for the unexpected. Do not fear. I will not put you where you should not be, but you must listen to My voice. Do not look to the right or the left. Focus on Me, not your circumstances, not what you see in the natural. Look for Me. Look for My presence. What are you looking for?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I’ll be looking for You. I need You, Lord. I need to know that we are in the right place. You have to tell _____, Lord. Please confirm where You want us to go.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, seek after Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint you. Susanna, listen to My still, small voice. Listen, Susanna. I am not the author of fear and unbelief. Oh, Susanna, My plans for you are good. Seek Me earnestly, and you will know what they are. I am faithful, Susanna. Trust Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I trust You. I will wait for Your leading, for Your voice.
June 4, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): Lesson: There is no need to strive in God’s presence. Learn to rest in God’s presence.
June 5, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I admit that I am weak. This fast seems so much harder than the others. Please help me. I just want to get closer to You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Waiting is a part of worship, Susanna. Your attitude counts in how you wait. Clean hands and pure hearts. This is what I am looking for. Are you expecting?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I am expecting. I am expecting a closer walk with You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are learning to die. This is important in worship.
⁘⁘ Susanna: How do I know how long I should wait?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Wait until you get what you were expecting.
June 10, 2007
Entry 1
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Susanna, people are not really worshipping Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Why do You say this, Lord?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, their hearts are far from Me. I need hearts, Susanna. Clean hands and pure hearts. Seek after Me with your whole heart. Get past lip service. Get past the norm. Break through. Not just movement but heart. I have so much for the Church if they would just wake up—if they would only seek after Me with their whole heart. The time is near, Susanna. It’s time for the great harvest to come in. It is time for a great awakening, such as never seen before. If My people would just wake up. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Taste and see, Susanna. Do you know that it is only because of grace and mercy? It’s all because of grace and mercy.
⁘⁘ Susanna: What should we do, Lord?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, seek after Me with your whole heart. Susanna, no more lip service from My Church. Susanna, there are so many different bodies in My Church. If people would follow Me, not tradition, not man. If they would just follow Me. I am faithful to do what I said I will do. I look over My Word to perform it. Are you as tired of it as I am?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I want more. I want Your power, Your anointing to come forth in Your Body as a whole. Yes, Lord, I am tired of it, but I don’t know how tired of it You are.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, don’t let the fire go out. Pray that the fire doesn’t go out. Pray, Susanna. Pray that My Church would wake up. Pray that there would be a release in My Body, such as never seen before.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, Father, in Jesus’ name, I pray that there would be a release of Your power in Your Body, such as never seen before. Release, Lord. Release Your Body from the bondage. Bring freedom to Your Body. Bring wholeness to Your Body. Bring unity to Your Body. Bring healing to Your Body. Bring a release, Lord. Bring a release to Your Body, in Jesus’ name.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I will start using you more and more like this, Susanna. Be prepared. Be prepared to speak for Me wherever you go. Be prepared.
⁘⁘ Susanna: (The Lord just gave me a Word from Him to give to this church.)
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Always be prepared, Susanna.
June 10, 2007
Entry 2
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): Today was a day of interceding prayer for the family, for the people of God.
June 11, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): Today in chapel, the Lord gave me a Word to give to ______. I was told by God to give it to him after chapel. I did that. I am trying to learn to be completely obedient to God’s voice.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Peace be still, Susanna. Call unto Me, and I will answer you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I love you, My daughter. Everything that you are doing has a purpose. You are in training. It will not always be easy. Some things will just not make sense to you, but they do to Me. I am always here watching you, leading you, and guiding you. These times together are not meaningless; they have purpose. You will grow through these times. This is the time for you to learn more about the call, more about My plans for your life. I am faithful, Susanna. I do not do things halfway. You will see. Everything will come together. It will all make sense in time. Do not jump ahead of Me. Trust Me. Trust My timing. Trust My will. Stay strong in the Lord, in the power of His might, not yours. I am shaping you and molding you into what I have called you to be. Don’t doubt the call—ever. Stay faithful to the call no matter what. Trust Me. It will all come to pass in My timing. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Oh, magnify the Lord with Me. Let us exalt His name together. Taste and see that the Lord is good.
⁘⁘ Susanna: It started again, hearing worship go up to God, and I joined in this time. Before the Lord spoke, I asked Him what He wanted to do. He told me to listen (which is hard for me). It was the coolest thing: I heard angels singing in unison. I heard them praising God. For short periods of time, it seemed as if I saw the Throne Room because I could see angels flapping their wings with worship coming forth, and I saw a bright light in front of them. (I was positioned behind one of the angels.) These times with the Lord have been awesome. I did not expect this at all. Today, my lesson was “learn to listen.” He also told me that I must learn to rest.
June 15, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): Today was the last day for me at _____. Today, I got a really short haircut. Tonight is my last night at Ma’s house before heading home tomorrow. Today, I spent some time playing music. I have so much work to do, so much to learn. I want to learn more about God. Where do I go from here? What’s next?
Northern Virginia
June 16, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): I drove home to D.C. today. I talked to the Lord in the truck. Today was a busy day. I didn’t feel that I connected well. I wanted to, but I am sure I could have made more of an effort.
June 17, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Be prepared at all times to speak for Me, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I am Your vessel, Lord. Please, I ask for Your favor, grace, and mercy in every area of this life.
June 24, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Why do you think the services must always be long, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I don’t know what I think, Father. I just want to know that we are in Your will. I need You, Lord. I need all Three of You—God the Father, God the Son, and God the Great Holy Spirit.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, look for My presence. Look for My presence, Susanna. Trust Me. Trust Me to take care of you, Susanna. Don’t give up. Everything that I told you will come to pass. Believe Me. Do not doubt. Oh, Susanna, have faith in God. So, again I ask: Why do you think the services should be long to mean something?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I don’t know, Lord. I guess that is what I thought.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: If this were the place where you should be, would you stay even though it is not everything you want?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, only if You tell me to by Your presence. Please tell us both what You desire from us and where You would like us to stay.
June 30, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I just want to be with You. I am at the “end of my rope.” Right now, I have so many emotions inside of me. I don’t know how I really feel. I am so glad that You are not like me. You can see right through me and see my heart. I need You. Please help me, Lord. I cry out to You. I need You. I need You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It’s his dream, Susanna. Just support him, but don’t do it for him. Be faithful to the call.
⁘⁘ Susanna: How do I do that, Father? Please loose the chains that bind me. I don’t give up on You, Father. It is I who has all the faults. I want to please You, yet why do I struggle? My heart hurts, Father. I will be real with You. How can I hide anymore? Who am I fooling? Not my will, Father, but Your will be done.
July 7, 2007
“The Big Names”
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: All the big names will be there, Susanna. Will I be there? If My people want Me. If My people seek after Me, they will find Me. If they seek Me with their whole heart, I will answer. I will forgive them of their sins. I will heal their land—not just the physical land, but all of their land. Do you understand what this means, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Freedom for Your people?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, but it also means going to the next level. It is the Bride getting prepared, being ready for My Son’s return. Watch and wait for Me; for in the hour when you think not. Be ready, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Father. Please help me to be ready. I ask for Your help. Lord, You are the only Big Name that I desire to be with right now. I love You.
July 17, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): The Lord asked me, “Can you love someone who doesn’t love Me? Are you able to love someone who doesn’t love Me?” I noticed just now that I hold an offense toward those who do not love the Lord or even like Him. I take it personally, and I sometimes may even try to defend God.
July 31, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I put my trust in You. Lord, You see our distress. You see that we cannot supply all of our needs because only You can, Father. Please help us. We don’t have the resources to cover everything. I believe that You are the One who controls our resources. You are first. Thank You for taking care of us this far. Father, what You want is what I want. I want to please You in all that I do, say, and think. Please open my ears and my eyes to hear and see what You are doing. Thank You for the job that You have given me. Thank You for the resources, provision, and protection. Thank You for the kids, for giving us these five kids to be stewards of.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I am with you, Susanna. Do not fear. Do not worry, Susanna. I will take care of tomorrow. I already have wonderful plans for you. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Do not worry, Susanna. Trust in Me. I am with you, Susanna. I promised that I will never leave you. I love you, My daughter. Remember what I told you: My love is so pure. It is, Susanna, and so are My thoughts for you. My plans for you are good. I have so much for you. Wait on Me, Susanna. Just wait. Be anxious for nothing.
August 8, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: The time is coming soon, Susanna. Be ready.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, what exactly should I be ready for? Is there something in particular that I need to do to get ready, to prepare?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Watch and wait for Me, Susanna; for in the hour when you think not. It is right around the corner, Susanna. Don’t give up.
October 26, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): I believe that I am in God’s will as long as I am obedient to what He tells me to do.
November 10, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: What do you think the anointing is for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: To do Your work, Your will, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Listen to My words, Susanna. Listen. Heed My words. It shall all come to pass—everything that I have told you. I never change, Susanna. Don’t give up on Me. Trust Me. Be faithful to the call. Be faithful to Me. Listen to My voice, Susanna. Heed My Words. Soon it shall all come to pass, but in My timing. You shall see great things, things that we have spoken about. Watch and wait for Me, Susanna. In the hour that you think not. I am faithful to do what I have said. You will see great signs and wonders. Don’t give up on the promise. Stay faithful to the call. Stay faithful to Me. Learn to listen. Learn to watch. Learn to be obedient. Learn this for ministry. You are never alone.
Watch your attitude and the words that you speak. You shall give an account for everything that you say. Words have power and authority and life and death. Words can restore, bring healing, and wholeness. Be careful of your company. Stay strong, pure, holy. Keep your eyes focused on Me, the Author and Finisher of your faith. Time is short, Susanna. There is so much work to be done. There is a great harvest waiting, ready to be picked. Where are My laborers? Where are those who are following after Me? I am looking, Susanna. Will I find anyone? Anyone available? Anyone willing? Anyone filled with Me to do My will?
Susanna, seek first the Kingdom of God, and all other things shall be added. Watch and wait for Me, Susanna. Your focus must always be Me. Do My work. Trust in the Lord with your whole heart. Remember My Word. There will be a great falling away in the last days. You will see this with your own eyes. This must not stop you from doing My work. The work must get done. There are souls, Susanna, lost souls waiting to hear the Good News. Jesus is alive! Jesus saves. Jesus is the only Way to Heaven. Rejoice, Susanna. Rejoice in the God of your salvation. Others are waiting. If you could only see and understand. Oh, Susanna, you know I promised that I would never leave you. That is true. Be obedient, faithful to Me. Great is your reward in Heaven. Stay true to Me, Susanna. I love you, My daughter. Things will soon start to get clearer. It will all start to fall in line. It will all start to make sense in time. Just trust in Me. Do My work. Don’t look to be in the limelight; just stay faithful to Me….The blood of Jesus redeems you. You are free from the curse of the Law. No longer are you bound but free in Christ, alive in Christ. Don’t get bound in your mind. Be open to doing My will. It shall all come to pass, but it must be in My timing. I love you. I really love you, Susanna. I think about you more than you think about your kids, and I love you so much more. Nothing you could ever do will make Me love you less. I mean that. I mean that, Susanna. You are never alone. I am always with you, even until the end of time.
November 28, 2007
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: I am burning out the impurities in you, Susanna. That’s why it’s painful. It is a purifying process. Sometimes it takes time. This is when you know what is really inside of you. All the pain, all the anger—it comes to the surface; it gets wiped away. It is better for you in the long run. It makes you stronger. My fire purifies; it burns up everything that is not of Me. Soon, I will be able to see Myself in you. You will reflect Me, My glory. It is painful, but it is worth it. Let Me burn you up in My fire, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I submit to the fire.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, wait on Me. Let Me finish the process. Don’t leave the church.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I feel like I’m dying.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are dying, Susanna. You, Susanna, are dying. Wait till you see what remains.
December 31, 2007
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, how do I make things right with You? I don’t even know where to start. Today, I would like to start over with You. Lord, please speak if You would like. It is okay if You don’t. I know You love me.
February 13, 2008
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): I watched a movie that I knew I shouldn’t have. It was PG-13, yet it was foul. I knew that it was something I shouldn’t do, yet I did it anyway. I know I hurt my Lord by doing that. I wish I could take it back. I think that I may be lukewarm (spiritually). I feel that way. I want to be on fire for God—full of His passion and His power. Right now, I feel so unhappy.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I knew you were going to look at that movie tonight, Susanna. I still love you. I love you with all My heart. I love you more than you will ever know. Stay faithful to the call, Susanna. Put your trust in Me, not in your abilities. You will always fail when you think that you can do it all on your own. You are weak, and in your weakness, I am strong. Stop trying to do things in your own strength. Susanna, My love will never fail; it is perfect. You don’t have to earn My love; you already have it. I love you. Oh, Susanna, let Me sing over you. Let My Rain cover you. Don’t give up. You are almost there.
June 21, 2008
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Seek after Me with your whole heart. I will not disappoint you.
June 28, 2008
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, I wanted to tell You that I love You. I love You, Lord. I want to show You how much I love You.
September 3, 2008
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: I believe that I heard the Lord say, “Obedience is the key to showing Me how much you love Me.” How do I be transparent to a God who already knows everything?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It’s not as much as what you say. It is what you do.
November 4, 2008
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Address this to the group, Susanna. Let them know about Me. Help them to know that I am not just some “thing” floating around, but that I am God. I am a Person. Tell them about Me, that they should never disrespect Me or speak evil against Me, that the Bride is the Church, and the Spirit is the guarantee. I live inside each believer. Without Me, it is impossible to receive salvation because I draw people to the Father. Tell them about Me, Susanna.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Please abide with us, Great Holy Spirit. Please abide with us.
November 23, 2008
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, I want more out of My people. Susanna, I want hearts, not lip service. Susanna, I am longing for intimacy. I can do so much more. I have so much more for My Body. This is just the beginning, the beginning of what I can do. Don’t limit Me. Oh, Susanna, there is so much more. I have so much for My Bride. Do you want more, Susanna? Are you hungry for more? Are you tired of the norm? I am, Susanna. I have so much more to give, but My Church is settling for so much less. People are happy with the feel-good stuff. I want worship. I want worship from the heart. I want more of you. Does this bother you, Susanna, as it bothers Me? I want so much more. Don’t settle, Susanna. Don’t settle for feel-good. Come after Me. I will not disappoint you. I will not disappoint those who come after Me with their whole heart. Susanna, seek after Me and see what I am talking about.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Okay, Lord. I will seek after You with my whole heart.
December 15, 2008
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: I am teaching you how to be disciplined, Susanna. I am teaching you through fasting. It should be a lifestyle, not just a one-time thing. Food should not rule over you. Everything must be subdued. You must learn to kill the flesh at all times. You are settling into the gate, getting ready to go out. The gate will open soon. As a trained horse, you will go out powerfully armed with God’s power and anointing. More training. Discipline is very important in ministry: It’s so that you can stay the course and not be easily persuaded to go to the right or left. Discipline is hard, Susanna, but it is important. Susanna, you are getting closer. Don’t give up. Look at the way horses are trained, and you will see where you are. Where is discipline in the life of a prophet? How is that a part of character? Without discipline, you would be wild and untamed. It is all a part of My plan, Susanna. You are getting ready for full-time ministry. Every little thing that I give you to do, I like to see that you do it right away. That is part of being disciplined. Yes, you are learning to be disciplined for full-time ministry.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You for speaking to me, Lord. Thank You for opening my eyes a little more and my understanding a little more.
December 24, 2008
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, what’s missing? What are you looking for, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I am just so bored, Lord. I want the real. I want You, not a ritualistic service. Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t it be more? I am looking for You, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Are you beginning to see what service is like without Me? Are you beginning to see that without Me, it’s dead? You need Me, My power, Susanna. Without Me, it’s just works. Are you beginning to see, Susanna, that without Me, it is just works? Who are they clapping for, Susanna? Is it for Me? Are you beginning to see that worship should be addressed to Me? You must have Me in every service, Susanna. You must have Me. Don’t go without Me, Susanna. Don’t go without My presence. Don’t do a work without My anointing. Are you starting to see, Susanna? Without Me, it is all works. There is no power, no life without My anointing, without My Spirit. You need Me, Susanna. Don’t ever try to do it on your own. Are you beginning to see, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, and I hate being in church without You.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Who are they here to see, Susanna? Are they here to meet with Me? Does anyone want Me, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I am so sorry, my Lord. What needs to be done to turn our eyes back on You?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Pray, Susanna. Seek after Me and pray for a release—that the chains would be broken. People aren’t here for Me, Susanna. It’s all for looks, Susanna. It’s all for a show. There is no life without Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray and ask for a release in the Body of Christ, that the chains would be broken off of Your Bride, that our focus would return to You, our First Love. Lord, please break every chain of darkness, every hindering spirit from Your Body. Please turn our eyes and hearts back to You, Lord, so that we will worship You in spirit and in truth. Amen.
January 18, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I want worship. Susanna, that is what I want. I want intimacy. Susanna, I long for this. No lip service. I want hearts, worship from the heart. Susanna, I want this from My Bride. Oh, Susanna, there are so many realms My Bride has not reached. There are so many levels of intimacy and worship. I want to take them there. It’s time to let go. It’s time to let go and worship. Susanna, no more lip service. Susanna, it’s time for My Bride to rise up and take its place. Susanna, My Son is coming back soon. It’s time for My Bride to take its place.
April 2, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Do not use your personal journal for small groups. It is crucial that you spend more time with Me, Susanna. Don’t wait till the last minute.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Okay. Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are starting to position in your heart your feelings towards Me. You are starting to believe in Me, no matter what anyone else says. Finish your degree, Susanna. Tie up all of these loose ends in your life. Remember how it took you a long time to do the other things that I told you? Don’t take a long time to do the things that you are working on now.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, please speak clearly.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You said you wanted to spend some more time with Me, right, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Believe in Me, Susanna, and never doubt. Believe in My Word and never doubt. Trust in Me. Wait patiently for Me. Do My will, Susanna. Don’t ever doubt the things that I tell you. You can rest assured in My Words; they never fade away, Susanna. Finish the contents of the book, and the cover will come. This is not the cover, Susanna. It’s okay. You will see soon. That is for something else. Don’t be troubled. Pay for the drafts; hold onto those for a later time.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: The cover will come, Susanna. Just finish the book. Susanna, I am real. You know that. Don’t ever forget that, and don’t ever doubt that. Don’t ever forget that, and don’t ever doubt that. You are starting to see and stand firm on what you believe. You must be firm with your small group, Susanna, from the beginning. There must be structure in your dynamics. Watch out for those who will try to run the group. Be firm in your decisions. Be wise and listen to My voice, no matter what the crowd may say. This is not about a popularity vote; this is about learning to lead. This is about learning to lead your group well. “Well” doesn’t mean that you won’t make mistakes. “Well” means that you will be completely obedient to My will. Where do you feel that you are with Me, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I thought I was close. I know I could get closer, of course. But our relationship seemed to have changed. Not that we aren’t close. It’s just different. I have to rely on what You and I have shared together, what You have told me, and never forget our relationship. Lord, I want to be close and stay close to You. I want to have boldness for You—not being ashamed about what others may think or say about our relationship. I must never be ashamed of You. I don’t want to be. I love You. So where am I really with You, Lord?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You could get closer, Susanna. I will allow you. A lot of things that you experience are because of your calling. I don’t have respect for any person. I love you as I love My other children. I get close to those whose hearts are set on Me. Someone must want Me, Susanna. Get closer to Me. Never stop seeking after Me. Never stop seeking after Me.
April 12, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Susanna, what are you seeking?
⁘⁘ Susanna: I am seeking You, Lord.
April 19, 2009
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, should I teach one Sunday night? I do seek Your counsel and Your will on this. Lord, should I teach at all on any Sunday? I don’t know how to ask You. Should I teach?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You are ready, Susanna. You are ready. Teach, but only teach what I tell you to. Listen for My guidance. Seek My will on this, Susanna. Seek My thoughts. Susanna, it is time.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
June 7, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh: People are afraid of intimacy, Susanna. People are afraid to get close to Me. What would happen if they did? What would happen if they gave Me everything they have—if they gave Me their whole heart? People are afraid of intimacy, Susanna, to get close enough to Me to taste Me; to be transparent for Me to reveal sin, sin that keeps them from Me. I want to heal. I want to restore. How can I when they don’t want to get close to Me? I want to get close to them. I want to love on them. I have so much for them. I love them, Susanna.
July 13, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: I do care about how you feel, Susanna. I do care about how you feel, your heart’s desires. I know your heart is sad right now, and you want so much more. I know, Susanna. I understand. Don’t give up. Don’t get weary. It’s right around the corner. So much is right around the corner.
⁘⁘ Susanna (Journal Entry): This morning, I vented to God. I showed my whole heart to Him—everything making me sad, bored, miserable, my mistakes, and some regrets. I actually felt better afterward. I really hope, in my heart, He didn’t think I was complaining. I really wasn’t. I have no one else to talk to. (Read Ezekiel 11 & 12. The Word of the Lord will come to pass.)
⁘⁘ Susanna (cont.): Thank You for Your Word, Lord!
August 2, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Susanna, I want you to go on a ten-day fast. Start tomorrow—fruits and vegetables only.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Oh, Lord, am I hearing You right?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna. You are hearing Me right. Start tomorrow.
⁘⁘ Susanna: What should I fast for, Lord? Is there something specific?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I want you to pray in the Spirit through the whole fast. Are you ready for breakthrough, Susanna?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It’s time to fight for it. Time to fight for breakthrough. It’s time to fight in the spirit realm. It’s time, Susanna. No more games. It’s time to get serious. It’s time to fight. The war is in the heavenlies. You do not wrestle against flesh and blood. It’s time to fight in the spirit realm. This is the purpose of this fast. You are waging war. You must be strong, spiritually strong. The time is near. Get ready. Get ready. Get ready. Get ready to fight. No more games. It’s time to fight. It’s time to put on the whole armor of God. Get ready, Susanna. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. I love you, My daughter. Don’t give up.
August 9, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: People worship Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. My heart is broken, Susanna. I long for true worship—worship in spirit and in truth. No lip service: clean hands and pure hearts. It is as in the days of old when people thought they could bring to Me any sort of worship. I am disgusted, Susanna. These are not My friends. Everyone that comes to church is not My friend. I desire intimacy, not lip service. I refuse this offering, Susanna. I refuse it with everything I have, Susanna. No more. My heart is broken, Susanna. Where are My true friends? Where are those who honor and adore Me? I deserve honor and worship. I am God. I am the Lord Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth; the One True God, Alpha and Omega. No one is like Me. No one.
The time has come. The time has come for true worship, for worship in spirit and truth. True worship. That’s why I want you to study worship, Susanna. You must understand worship and warfare, how they are tied in together. Do not compromise in worship. Do not give in to your flesh to serve man, to please man. Serve Me from your heart, with all your strength. Do not look to the right or to the left. Look at Me. Focus on Me. Serve Me. Please Me, not your flesh, not your desires. Keep your focus on Me. I am looking for those who will serve Me in spirit and in truth. I am looking for warriors. I am looking for those sold out to Me. Where can I find them, Susanna? I am looking, Susanna. I am looking. Where are they? It is time, Susanna. I am looking for those sold out to Me. I am disgusted, Susanna. This is not worship to Me; this is worship to the flesh.
August 11, 2009
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Today is Tuesday. Lots of emotions are running through me. Lots of things to think about—things that have brought me pain. I hate pain. I hate hurting over stupid things. I hate resentment or feeling bitterness, or anger over things that have happened. How do I let go of emotions such as these? How do I focus on what God wants me to do when my past comes up? Lord, I need Your help. I really need Your grace to help me. Please help me, Father. I don’t know what to pray or tell You, but my heart still hurts. My heart hurts over lots of things right now.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I am with you, Susanna. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Let not your heart be troubled.
October 19, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Tie up all your loose ends, Susanna. Continue to tie up all your loose ends.
November 16, 2009
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, do You think I should teach in January at ______?
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna, but teach only what I tell you to. It’s time to go into full-time ministry, Susanna. This is your transition period. Be ready. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. You’re transitioning, Susanna, over the next few months. Teach, Susanna, but only teach what I tell you to. Yes, Susanna, your baby is coming forth. Soon, everyone will see your baby. Be prepared. Be prayed up. Study. Discipline yourself. Be ready for the harvest. It’s going to come whether you’re ready or not. Don’t give up, Susanna. Don’t give up. You are representing Rain That Heals now. I have blessed your ministry. Stay faithful to the call. Don’t go outside of your calling to fulfill the desires of man.
Watch for Me. Wait for Me, Susanna. People will not understand, but you must wait on Me. Do My will, Susanna. Preach the Kingdom. Learn how over the next few months. Be ready in season and out of season. Don’t worry, Susanna. Everything will work out just fine. I have you, Susanna, in the palm of My hand. Trust Me. Do not doubt. Do not wonder how it’s going to happen. I will take care of the details. Just follow Me. Just listen to My voice. Seek after Me with your whole heart, Susanna. Watch and wait for Me. I will not disappoint you. I will not disappoint you, Susanna. You will see. I have good plans for you. Not just for you, Susanna, but for your whole family.
Stay faithful to Me. Wait for Me, Susanna. Wait for Me. Do not worry about tomorrow. I will take care of it. I will take care of the details. All of them. You will see. I am with You. I am in front of you. I am protecting you. Trust in Me. I see all things. I know all things. I am the God of plenty. You will see. All things work together for My good. For My good, Susanna. You don’t understand it, but you will begin to see soon. You will begin to see. Don’t give up. Don’t get restless. Stay focused. Trust in Me. Be obedient to My voice. My voice, Susanna. You will hear other voices telling you to go this way or that. Do not listen to them.
Stay focused on Me, on My voice, My will. My will is good and perfect. It is best for you. You will see. Don’t expect to know all or understand all. This is where you have to trust Me. Trust My will, My plans for your life. You must trust Me, Susanna. Do exactly what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it. Don’t delay when following My will. Don’t delay. Don’t question; just obey. Stay faithful to the call.
Remember. Remember what I told you, how you will see great things? Look for them. Expect them. Hope for them. I will do great things, Susanna, such as you have never seen before, but you have desired to see them. You will see them. You will see them, Susanna. You will see them. Don’t be surprised when they happen, when they manifest. I am the God of plenty. I can do what others call the impossible. I will do things through you and your ministry and others, Susanna. Watch for it. Watch for breakthrough. Watch for My hand, My mighty hand across the land.
It is time, Susanna. My Son is coming back soon. He is! He is coming back so soon, but so many are not ready for His return. You must tell others. Tell others the Good News. Share what you know with urgency, without delay. Don’t wait for fanfare. Be that voice in the wilderness. Be that voice declaring the Word of the Lord. Be that voice shouting in the desert, “Jesus is coming again! Jesus is coming again! Jesus is coming again!” Watch and wait for Him. Watch and wait. Jesus is coming again. Jesus is coming again soon, Susanna. Very soon. Very soon. Many are not ready. Be that voice.
This is your mission, the reason why you were called—to preach the Kingdom and prepare the world for the return of Christ. You are My mouthpiece. Preach, Susanna. Preach. You have been called. You are a prophet. Preach. Preach, Susanna. Tell the world. Preach. Don’t delay. Prepare the world. Prepare them by sharing. Don’t be afraid. It is time. Jesus is coming soon, sooner than many think.
Learn your vision and your mission. Learn them both. Learn them in your heart. Learn them. Absorb them. Devour them. Believe in them from your heart, Susanna. Believe in Me. You will see, Susanna. You will see soon. It will soon start to make sense. Whether you are ready or not, it is time. It is time, Susanna. Don’t delay in doing My will. Don’t delay. Don’t delay. You have been called. It is time to walk in that calling. Do My will without delay. It is time. It is time. It is time, Susanna. I am with you, My dear one. There is no need to worry. I have you in the palm of My hand. I have you, Susanna. You are Mine. I will take care of you. Susanna, it is time to go to work. You have a big assignment.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. Please show me how to prepare the world and preach the Kingdom. I ask for Your wisdom. Thank You for speaking to me. Thank You so much for Your words and Your presence. Thank You for calling me. I ask for a fresh filling of Your Spirit and Your anointing, Lord.
November 27, 2009
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, I don’t believe I am doubting You. Please make it clear, Lord, about looking for another church. I just want us to do Your will, Lord. I don’t want to settle in a location that is not of You. Please lead us and direct our paths. We need You, Lord. We need Your wisdom. Oh, Lord, please make it clear. I don’t want to tell my husband the wrong info.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, it is okay. Keep looking. You will find a place to attend. I love you, My daughter. I hear your heart. Do you see My smile? I love you. I am with you. I am excited about your partnership with Kenya as well. What a wonderful opportunity to spread the Good News. Respect your husband, Susanna. Show him honor and respect. You will see the difference. You will see. He will start to walk in that. Don’t tell him to shush. Treat him like a man, and he will act like one.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. Thank You for the counsel. I love You.
December 1, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: I had to remove you so you would be ready for full-time ministry, Susanna. I had to remove you. Your focus was all wrong. You were focused on your abilities, on your strengths. You didn’t see that it’s through My resources, things are done. Don’t give up, Susanna. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord, those called according to His purpose.
I had to remove you, Susanna. You would do more damage than good because of the pride in your heart. This is to help you get on track, Susanna. Don’t worry. It’s not permanent, but it is for your good. I see all things, Susanna. I was looking at your heart. I could see the things in your heart. They were not all pleasing to Me. I love you so much, Susanna. I didn’t want your ministry to be tainted with pride. I want you to never forget who your strength is from, who your resources are from, where the power comes from. It’s not from you, Susanna. It’s from Me. You must never forget.
Never get caught up in your position or your title. Those things do not make you. It’s who you are in Christ. That’s your true identity. That’s your true identity, Susanna. And when people ask you what you are doing, don’t be afraid to tell them. What does it matter? I am with you. That is the most important thing. I am with you. I can use anyone I choose to do the work of the Kingdom. I have chosen you not because of your abilities. Never forget, man looks at the outside; I look at the heart. The heart is the most important thing, Susanna. I didn’t want you to go into full-time ministry thinking that it’s all about you and your abilities. It would have been disastrous.
In the Kingdom, everything is connected by the Spirit. It is through the Spirit things come alive, things are born. It is through the Spirit things are created. Yes, the Spirit will back up your ministry as long as you do the Lord’s will. You cannot see the Kingdom; it’s all in the spirit realm. This is why you demonstrate it in power. What did Jesus do? He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out demons; said that He is the Way. It is through Jesus you are baptized by the Holy Spirit and with fire.
The Kingdom is all in the spirit realm. The Holy Spirit seals the believer. Now they are operating in two worlds and can choose whether they will walk in the Spirit or in the flesh. Do you see anywhere where they (disciples/apostles) taught on improving your home, job, life? No. Their focus was on the Kingdom, because once you have the Kingdom focus first, everything else will follow; it will override your daily life. No point in focusing on your daily life if you are not seeking the Kingdom of God first. There is an order to things. You forgot? There is spirit first, then things were spoken into the natural, and now they exist. The natural did not exist before the spiritual. The spiritual is permanent, and the natural is temporary.
People are looking for the Kingdom in a church building. It’s not there. But the Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. What have I told you to preach? Jesus is alive, Jesus saves, Jesus is coming again. And it is through Him anyone can enter the Kingdom, but they have to make that choice to know Him and be born of the Spirit. Flesh cannot enter the Kingdom. You must be born again. Look up some of _____’s teachings on the Kingdom. Stay focused. Pull out things that you should focus on versus things you should not.
Soon, Susanna. It is very soon. It is almost time for full-time ministry. It won’t be long because time is short. Now you are ready. You must stay focused. Keep your heart pure before the Lord. Be ready. Be ready to go right into full-time ministry. Trust My words. When I tell you to shift—shift. Don’t worry about your finances and about your resources. I will take care of you, but you must be ready to shift when that time comes, when that moment comes. Don’t hold on to this job the way you held on to your last one. This is a transition period. It cannot last very long. But you must be ready to shift when the time comes. I will tell you when to leave, but when I tell you to leave, you must be obedient no matter what.
Susanna, your “baby” will be out there, and you will have to take care of your “baby.” Stay where you are right now and learn your job. When the time comes to leave, you must leave. Your next job is your ministry, Susanna. It is full-time ministry. Be ready for that shift. It is going to come soon. Don’t take too long to send out that packet to _____. They are waiting for it. I am with you, Susanna. Everything will work out just fine. Be ready so that when your logo is done, you can just attach it and send it out. They will be blessed by the teachings. You have a lot of work to do, Susanna. Time is short. You must stay focused. Remember, only do what I tell you to do. Do not cater to people’s wishes in ministry. Only do My will. It doesn’t matter what people think of you, Susanna. You must do My will. Care about what I think of you. Do My will. Obey Me. Yes, you know to submit to those over you. I will take care of the book.
Be ready for the shift. Be ready for a bestseller. The T-shirts will do well also. Lots of money for Kingdom purposes. Yes, Susanna, Kingdom purposes. Give the first book to Me. Yes, all of the resources for the Kingdom. I will bless you. I have already blessed your ministry. I will bless you and your family. Don’t be selfish. Put God first. Know that He will take care of you. I will take care of you, Susanna. I will. I will, Susanna. I will take care of you. I love you, My daughter. I love you. I love you. Don’t worry, Susanna. Everything will be okay. You will see. You have a lot to do, Susanna. Don’t give up. It will all be worth it.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, my Lord. Yes, my King!
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Soon, Susanna. Soon you will be with Me forever, but do My will now.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. Yes, Jesus.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You have so much to do for the Kingdom. Don’t give up. The time is short.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. I love you.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Show Me that you love Me by doing My will.
December 28, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, you know what you need to do: twenty-one-day fast. No food, only liquids. Do you want My power, Susanna? Fast and pray. Start at midnight tonight.
December 30, 2009
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Get some juice with vitamins, Susanna. Put something away in savings, Susanna. Something. Develop a habit of saving.
January 1, 2010
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Today, my body feels extremely tired and weak. I ask the Lord for His strength to continue on.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Help them to understand what a Kingdom is first. Then explain My Kingdom and how it is different from the kingdoms of the world; then, how to enter this Kingdom, that there are no exceptions to the Way.
⁘⁘ Yahweh (cont.): Drink more water, Susanna. Drink more water. Keep up the fluids. The Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
January 4, 2010
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Are you ready to preach if someone asks you to preach right now, Susanna? Be ready in season and out of season. Always be ready to preach, Susanna. Don’t wait to have notes together—or outlines. Know why you believe. Be able to tell others on the spot why you believe. Study to show yourself approved, a workman not ashamed but rightly dividing the Word of truth. Learn Scripture, Susanna. Study Scripture. Be able to tell others freely what you know without having to second-guess yourself. The Holy Spirit will bring things to your remembrance, but study the Word for yourself. Be able to tell others about the Kingdom without having to second-guess yourself or look up notes.
January 5, 2010
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: You will be okay without sex for a few more days, Susanna, and so will he. Don’t apply for that loan. Let Me be your resource. Let Me take care of you, Susanna. Don’t worry, Susanna. I know you want it all to happen. It will all come to pass. Trust Me. Wait on Me, Susanna. Wait on Me. You have a lot of work to do today and so little time. So little time. So little time, Susanna. Obedience is so much better than sacrifice, Susanna. So much better. Don’t worry about mentorship either. I am your Teacher. There are a lot of things I will ask of you that will be difficult for others to understand.
You are not alone, Susanna. Never think that for one moment. Never, Susanna. I am always with you. Always with you, Susanna. Always with you, by your side; with you, leading you, holding you, keeping you. Stay close to Me, Susanna. Stay close. Stay under My wing, My protection, My Spirit. Stay close to Me, Susanna. Trust Me. Look to Me, Susanna, for every need, every desire, every void that you have in your heart. Let Me fill it. Let Me fill it with My goodness, with My grace. Let Me fill you, Susanna, to overflow. Let Me hold you, My daughter, in My arms of love.
I love you so much, My daughter. I love you with a perfect love. No one else can give you this love. No one else can fill you the way that I can. Hold on to Me, Susanna. Hold on to Me. We have so much to explore together, so much to discover together. My faithfulness never goes away, Susanna. I never change. I am looking at you right now, Susanna, and I see your heart. There are still some things that need to change. Let Me complete the healing, the need to be accepted. Accept what I have for you. Accept all that I have for you. You are still wounded, always looking for attention, just more subtle now. Look to Me. Look for My attention, My affection.
Draw close to Me, Susanna. Draw close to My Spirit. Hear what I have to say about you. You are Mine. You are My treasure. You are My child. I have wonderful plans for you. I see you rise up and lay down. I see every thought. I know your pain, the pains of your past that still leave a scar on your heart. No longer do you have to be alone or depend on acceptance elsewhere. I am here to meet every need. I am here to heal you, Susanna. I am here to heal you. Give Me your hurt. Give Me your pain. Let Me replace it with My love. My healing power goes deep, deep to the very root, the very root of your heart, Susanna. Let Me heal you, Susanna. Let Me replace that need for acceptance with My love.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I give You my pain, the scars on my heart. I give You every hurt and my need for acceptance from others. I give my hurting heart to You to do with it as You please. Please heal me. Please heal my heart.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: No longer do you have to walk in fear. Know who you are in Christ. Know who you are in Christ. Receive your approval (acceptance) from Me. Be confident in who you are in Christ. Be strong in the Lord. Stay close to Me, Susanna. Stay close to Me. I must always be first. And many will not understand that. They will think you are being holier-than-thou, but not so. I must be first. I must be the most important Person in your life, far beyond your family, your ministry. I must be first. You must settle in your heart that I am first, that I am Lord, that I am Master. This must be so to succeed. Soon, you will have to take care of your “baby.” You can’t do both. You are putting so much energy into your natural job instead of your Kingdom job. There must be a switch. Soon, there will be. I look at you and see you are so beautiful, Susanna. I have made you so unique, beautiful. Every detail of you is made on purpose. Every detail. There are no accidents in My creation. None. I am a perfect God. My handiwork is made to mimic the Creator. One day, it all will.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Thank You for Your wonderful words, Lord. I pray they will go deep in my heart.
January 6, 2010
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, there is something I am dealing with in my heart—something about work. What is going on in my heart concerning work? Is there sin there? Why do I suddenly feel bored there, wanting badly to move/shift? Is it my flesh, or are You preparing my heart to leave soon? I ask because I don’t want anything to get between us.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Your heart is starting to confirm My plan, Susanna, My desire for you to go into full-time ministry. Hold on, Susanna. The change is coming soon. Be ready to shift when I tell you to. Be ready for the change. Are you excited?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes!
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Yes, Susanna, I am excited too. I am excited about the work that has to be done, the many souls that are coming into the Kingdom. Soon, Susanna. Soon it will be time. You are starting to agree with My will, with My desires for your life. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. So much is going to happen soon, Susanna. Be ready for the shift. Be ready for the change. Be ready, Susanna. Be ready. It is coming soon. Be ready. I can see it, Susanna. I can see it. Hold on. I can see it, Susanna. Just be obedient to My voice. Everything will be okay. I will take care of you, Susanna. No need to worry or fear. If you could only see what I have in store for you, My daughter. The time is near. Soon you will hear Me tell you to shift. I will take care of you. You can’t see it, but I do. I see it, Susanna. Don’t despise your job. Just stay focused on the call and complete your work to the end. Stay faithful. The time is so near, Susanna. Jesus’ return is so soon. So many are not aware, and so many do not care. You must be a light to others and give your testimony of what God has done. Do not be ashamed of the Gospel. Do not be ashamed. Spread the Good News. Do not be ashamed. Win many souls for the Kingdom. Be My ambassador to the world. No, you will not be at this job too much longer. Wait for Me, Susanna. Don’t go ahead of Me, and don’t delay in doing My will. Everything will be okay, Susanna. I will take care of you.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I will wait for You, Lord, for You to tell me when to leave this job and take care of the baby full-time. Thank You for sharing Your heart with me. I love You so much.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: I love you too, My daughter. I love you too.
January 8, 2010
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Today, it was hard to go to work. I am sad, and I am not exactly sure why. My heart wants to focus so badly on the work God has called me to do. It feels as if so much of my day is gone because of my long hours at work. Oh, Lord, I am excited and nervous about the change. I am willing to do what You want. I am looking forward to hearing You say it’s time to leave, time to shift. I will be listening and waiting. Your will be done, Lord. Your will be done.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Don’t worry, Susanna. Don’t worry. Everything will be all right. Soon, Susanna. Soon. Hold on to My promises. They will all come to pass. Do your best. Do your work. Give it all you have as you serve Me. Faithfully, Susanna. Faithfully serve Me in everything that you do.
January 12, 2010
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Believe and not doubt, Susanna. Believe and not doubt.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Lord, thank You for Your words of wisdom about the ministry and everything else! Oh, Lord, I bless Your name. I worship You, Lord. I choose to believe You. I believe I am fasting for Your power to flow through my life. I want Your power. I want Your presence. I want to feel You, touch You, be with You. I want You so bad my Lord, with all my heart. I want You. Please allow me to get close to You. Please allow me, Lord.
January 18, 2010
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: You’re free, Susanna. You are free from the vow. The fast is over. You did well. You hung in there. I will reward you for seeking Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I want You, Lord. I want You more than anything else. More than anything else, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It doesn’t have to end, Susanna. Stay close to Me even though the fast is over. I would like that.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Me too, Lord. I would like that too. I love You so much.
January 30, 2010
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Lord, are You speaking to me? Please speak, Lord. I am listening.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It’s time to leave your job, Susanna. Put in your two weeks’ notice today. Don’t worry about your finances, Susanna. If they ask why you are leaving, tell them the Lord told you to. No other detail is necessary. It’s time, Susanna. It’s time to leave. It’s time to go. Don’t be afraid, Susanna. I am with you. I will take care of you. Don’t worry about your resources. I will be with you every step of the way. Thank you for waiting on Me. Thank you for being obedient. It is now time to go into full-time ministry. I will bless you. I already have. It is time, Susanna. It is time to leave your job. Put in your two weeks’ notice today. They will not understand, but that is okay. It’s okay, Susanna. Everything will be okay. Trust Me.
⁘⁘ Susanna: I believe You are speaking to me, Lord. Please confirm Your Word in my spirit, in my heart, so I will stay focused on You, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It is time, Susanna. No need to worry. No need to doubt. I am with you. I promise you, I will never leave you. Watch what I do in your life, in your ministry. Watch what I do, Susanna. Yes, I am teaching you how to walk by faith. That is why you cannot see, but you have to be obedient. You have to trust Me. Trust Me, Susanna. Trust Me. I have you in the palm of My hand. I have you, Susanna. Give your two weeks’ notice today. I love you. I love you, Susanna. I love you. Surrender, Susanna. Your life is not your own. You belong to Me. You are My child, and I love you. I have so much for you. Watch and see what I do through you and in you. Watch and see. It is time.
Move into this next level, this next dimension. Move over. Move into the faith realm, where you walk by faith and not by what you see, where you trust Me without having to see it first, where you trust Me with the eyes of your heart, with all your heart, body, soul, mind, and strength. Are you ready? Are you ready for this new adventure? I am. I am, Susanna. I am. And I am so excited. I am ready. You should be, too. You should be. It is time. Work hard through the end, Susanna. Work hard, no matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone thinks. The Lord told you to leave, and that is all you can say about it. Give no other reasons. Walk by faith, Susanna. Walk by faith.
This is another lesson in your journey. Another lesson. Another level. Stay strong in the Lord. Stay faithful to Him. Be thankful unto Him. For the Lord is good. His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures through all generations. You see your last day, Susanna. Don’t stay another day past it. You will be a testimony to others of walking by faith.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. Let it be according to Your Word.
March 15, 2010
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Dear Lord, thank You for this day, for another day, Lord. I admit I have a lot of loose ends. I have so much to do. Part of me doesn’t know where to start. The other part has so many mixed emotions. Please forgive me for watching that stupid TV program about cheating people. I wish I didn’t.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Believe that you have My wisdom, Susanna. Believe that you have it.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You can lose the weight you are trying to lose. It takes discipline.
March 21, 2010
⁘⁘ Susanna leads: Dear Lord, as You know Mike and I were thinking about adopting a child. I asked him a few times if he was sure. He said, “Yes.” I am excited, and he is excited. I believe I thought I heard You say something like this. I can’t remember exactly what You said last night. My Lord, please tell me what You think about us adopting a child (or two!) I seek Your will, Lord. I seek Your counsel.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, I believe you would both be happy adopting a child. I do have better plans for you, to give you one of your own flesh. Would you like that?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, I would.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: You would be able to love your adopted child as your own flesh. But wouldn’t it be wonderful to see My glory performed in your body?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord, it would.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Then it would be that the Lord gave you this baby. Then there would be no need to argue or fight over it. Susanna, I do not forget My promises. I remember what I told you. I remember. I remember you, Susanna. My plan is good, Susanna. My plan is really good. Read the account of Samuel’s birth today. You will be encouraged.
⁘⁘ Susanna: Yes, Lord. Let it be as You willed.
April 4, 2010
⁘⁘ Yahweh Leads: Susanna, what is Easter about?
⁘⁘ Susanna: It is about You, Lord.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: People say they love Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. I see the heart, Susanna. It cannot be hidden. Fine clothes and makeup do not hide it. Masks do not hide what I see, Susanna. I am looking for clean hands and pure hearts. No more lip service. I want clean hands and pure hearts; true service, adoration to the King. Give that to Me, Susanna. Give that to Me. Susanna, give that to Me. Love on Me with your heart, mind, soul, strength. Love on Me, Susanna. Give Me your heart in everything that you do. Susanna, what am I looking for?
⁘⁘ Susanna: Clean hands and pure hearts.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, this is what I am looking for. Nothing less, Susanna. Don’t be deceived by outside appearances. Look at the heart behind things. The true motives come from the heart. The true motives of service. The true motives of service. Dedicate yourself to Me from the heart. Dedicate yourself to Me. Susanna, don’t rely on what you sense, what you feel. Rely on what I show you from My Spirit. Everything else is deception, but rely on what is shown by My Spirit. Rely on that, Susanna. Rely on My Spirit to show you things. Don’t rely on what you see in the natural. Those things are not dependable.
Oh, Susanna, I have so much more for My Church, for My Bride, to truly take them where they have never been before; to take them where they have never been before in Me. So much more. So much more past what is seen on the outside. If they would just humble themselves before Me and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear, Susanna. I will hear. I will heal the land. I will heal the land. I will heal the nations. When true worship comes forth, I will be there. I will be there, Susanna. I will hear.
I love that, Susanna. I love true worship. I love true worship from the heart. See, Susanna. Do you see? The natural looks so good, but what is in the heart? What is in the heart, Susanna? The heart is what people cannot see. It’s what I see. It is what I see, Susanna. Always remember that. Never forget. Everything that you do, let it be done from the heart, Susanna. I am always looking. I am always watching. I am always searching. Dedicate yourself to Me from the heart. I am here.
Look for Me. Seek Me from your heart. Seek Me from the heart, Susanna. Never forget. No matter what you do, let it be done from the heart. A true worship. A true service. Others may not think it should be done that way, but look at how I say it should be done. Look at how I say it should be done. Don’t please man to try to get My attention. Please Me, Susanna, from the heart. I love you, My daughter. Stay faithful to Me. Stay faithful. I am with you. Don’t worry. Trust Me as you said you would. Trust Me. I love you. I am with you. I will never leave you. I promise. I promise you, Susanna.
You can trust Me. You can trust My words. I will never fail you. I will never fail you. I love you. I love you, Susanna. Do My will. You are not alone. I am raising up an army, an army in these last days. Go to that conference. Don’t worry about your finances. Trust Me to supply your needs. Trust Me, Susanna. Seek Me first. I love you, My daughter. Always seek Me first. You can trust My words, Susanna. You can trust My words. All of them. Do My will. Stay faithful to the call. Do not look to the left or to the right. Stay faithful to the call. I love you. I love you. I see so many things you do not see. Stay faithful to the call. I love you. Keep your focus on Me. Everything will work out fine, Susanna. Stay with Me. Stay with Me, Susanna. I love you. Keep your heart with Me. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU! I will not, Susanna! I promise! I love you!
April 23, 2010
“The Prophet’s Mouth”
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Susanna, they are not looking to hear from Me. They are looking to hear from My prophets, but not from Me. They want the glory of the prophet’s mouth, not My mouth. Oh, Susanna, don’t look to the prophets to receive their glory. Look to Me for affirmation, for acceptance. Remember, every prophet is My mouthpiece. They cannot truly deliver a Word from Me unless I give it to them. Unless I give it to them, Susanna, it really isn’t from Me. Do you see? Do you see, Susanna? Open your eyes and see. Look to Me for the Word. Don’t look in anticipation for the prophet. Look in anticipation to hear from Me. Susanna, it is My mouth, My words. I must get the glory, Susanna. Never give a prophet glory. Give Me glory, Susanna. Susanna, never forget where the power comes from. Many are here just to see the prophet, get a word, but what are you here for?
⁘⁘ Susanna: To receive from You, to get closer to You, to understand the gifts You have placed in me a little better. I want You. I want You so bad. I want to sense You in a tangible way.
⁘⁘ Yahweh: Susanna, never lose focus on why you are here. Never give credit to a prophet. Never receive credit for yourself when you give a word. You are a mouthpiece, My vessel. Never lose focus. Remember, Susanna. Never forget where the power comes from. Great power will flow through you, but never forget where the power comes from. It’s not yours. It’s not you: It is flowing through you to do My will so that My glory will be made known around the world. I love you, My daughter. Great things shall you see in My timing. Wait for Me, Susanna. Wait for Me. I love you. That’s all for now.
June 6, 2010
⁘⁘ Yahweh leads: Do you know why you are going to the wilderness, Susanna? (Asked twice)
⁘⁘ Susanna: (Not sure.)
⁘⁘ Yahweh: It’s so I can burn the rest of the flesh out of you. There’s still some flesh that remains. There’s still some flesh I want to remove. You will not be alone there. Don’t get discouraged. It seems like a lot, but you can do it. Through Christ, you can do all things. I like the idea of a music group, Susanna. Pursue that. I will send the right people. I love worship, and I am glad to see that you would like to worship the Lord with your whole heart. Do that, Susanna. Don’t get discouraged.
Worship Me, Susanna. Worship Me in everything that you do. Sell out to Me, Susanna. I have given you a beautiful voice to use for My glory, not for man’s. Be careful who you connect with. Many will try to tap into the gift and ignore the Giver of the gift. Tap into the Giver of the gift. Tap into Me, Susanna. Sing songs to Me, Susanna. Worship Me. Love on Me. Love on Me. Sell out to Me. Susanna, there is so much I have for you. In worship, there is so much. There is so much that can happen in worship: breakthrough, deliverance, redemption from curses, from diseases. Watch and see.
Be careful of those trying to get close to you: their motives are not always good. Their motives are not always pure. Susanna, be careful. Be careful, Susanna. People will want the gifts and not the Giver of the gifts. Be sold out to Me. Stay focused on Me, Susanna. I am with you. Yes, I am still with you. I promise you, I will never leave you. I promise you, Susanna. Trust Me. Trust Me to supply all of your needs. I promise you. I will never leave you. I love you. I love you, My daughter. Trust Me, Susanna, for your resources. I am here.